Episode Forty-Seven: I’d Like To Go On Record As Saying George Washington Is Not My Daddy

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It’s about that TIME to figure out if you can keep a SECRET. Elfangor’s secret! In honour of this episode being shorter than usual, so is the amount of effort I’m going to spend on this description. If you hate it so much, why not go kill my goddamn grandpa so I’m never even ON this podcast? Fuck you. The book is MegaMorphs Three: Elfangor’s Secret. I said it already! Up top!! Whatever. I’m the version of me from the bad timeline where you killed my grandpa’s neighbour who was just in there trying to water my grandpa’s plants and that’s why I’m sooo rude. Meet me in the construction zone beside the mall where all the technology is buried and fight me to the death if it bothers you so much. I will NOT be giving you superpowers. Only super glowers. From glaring at you rudely. I’m using “I” instead of “we” but you’ll never know who it is! Maybe I’m your secret space dad!!!!! Fight all of us!!!!!!!!!!!! I dare you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In addition to sort of just deciding this isn’t even really an Animorphs book, we discuss: Prozzäk, “Need A Band-Aid, Babe?” But Unironically, Did Harriet Jones Utilise Girl Power When She Did A Genocide?

Further reading: The story of Simon and Milo