Episode 72: Level 1000 Sensitive Face

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Well, here we are! It’s S03E26, “…Or Not to Be”, and this episode needs a content warning: this is the stillbirth episode. We will not be getting into any of the miserable details, but Brenda certainly did not hesitate to give them to us, complete with one of the most shameless music choices we’ve ever heard in a TV show! But hey, it’s not all bad: there’s also some fat shaming for comic relief! Wait, never mind. This week, it’s all bad. I’m sure season 4 will be better!

Sam | Jordan

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Episode 71: casper.com/juergenit

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Teens, put your phones away! It’s S03E25, “To Be…”, and your hands are for rice now! Ben and Adrian are married now, and that’s just where the show is at. Who cares about that, though, when you could care about interesting things like, what if Anne, was, in a relationship, with, that guy? What if Camille, who we know, was dating George, because, ? What, if Jack and Madisions, where dating, and w, e liked it? What fif, ew’and RBrenada ahd idaieos for tenens wasys fof liefe/? What igvfbu there  aws Draama, an dv\wso rRuckiy had to aget a newww byedd.j? This week, I couldn’t possibly care about any of this. Sorry!

Sam | Jordan

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Episode 70: Hydrox Variety Pack

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Hey, teens! Put down the peyote – this Juergen’ It episode can be enjoyed all on the natch! It’s S03E24, “It’s Not Over ‘Til It’s Over”! It’s wedding time, and it’s drama time! And George is here, and he’s ready to bone down, and Anne is getting married to a bowl of polenta, or something? That can’t be right. Sorry, my notes are all smudged because I was weeping tears of joy from the beautiful Bruno Mars wedding montage. This week, Jordan has to wake up. That’s it, alright?

Sam | Jordan

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Episode 69: Do You Know Sports?

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Good news, sort of! It’s S03E23, “Round II”, and it’s not a merciless onslaught of negativity like the last episode! Are any of these Nice scenes earned? No, not really, but at least this episode doesn’t kill you when you watch it – despite Ashley’s best efforts! This week, the Brenda Hampton Apology Tour is coming to take you away. Thanks, Henry!

Sam | Jordan

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Episode 67: Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V

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Welcome to 2019! For our first Juerg of the year, we’re watching S03E21, “Young at Heart”! And folks, when the title is relevant to the episode, you know it’s gonna be a bad one! Some very questionable relationships on display here but wait actually never mind Brenda says it’s good, actually. What a relief! Could’ve sworn that was illegal but I guess not. This week, we’re seeing Sexmother live in concert. Don’t Bing it!

Sam | Jordan

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Episode 66: Ben Boink-a-Binch

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Hey, teens! It’s S03E20, “Moving In and Out”, and we’re getting to the bottom of things this week. Whose show is this? Who’s writing what? Who’s in charge of the music? Join us as we dive deeper into the production rabbit hole than ever before, which is still not very deep but it’s still deeper than ever before. It’s a new era of Juergen’ It: the era where we check who writes each episode! This week, it’s Paul’s world and we’re just living in it. See you next week, Brenda!

Sam | Jordan

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(Check our YouTube channel for a clip of the blatant retcon in the Previously On!)

Juergen’ It

Ten years ago, the network formerly known as ABC Family allowed 7th Heaven creator Brenda Hampton to make a terrible teen drama that they inexplicably allowed to run for five seasons. Now, two brothers, the grizzled veteran Sam and the series newcomer Jordan, have made it their mission to shine a light on this garbage TV show and look at it more closely than the writers would have ever hoped anyone would.

Theme song: “Let’s Do It, Let’s Fall in Love” by Cole Porter, performed by Joan Jett and Paul Westerberg

Show art by Beelzeboob

All of our episodes can be found at secretlifepod.com, and you can also check us out in the following places!

iTunes | Google Play | Twitter | Tumblr | YouTube | Patreon | Discord | RSS

Episode 65: Something for the Fellas

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Cor blimey, guvnah! Welcome to another episode of Juergen’ It! The bad British accents are out in full force this week, as we are joined once again by Stog to discuss S03E19, “Deeper and Deeper”! We’ve got two new characters, and one of these blokes is a right bloody tosser, inne? And the other one is British! This week, Jordan makes some deep pulls. [sound of me making a funny face]

Sam | Jordan | Stog

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Episode 64: The Buccinator

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Good morning! We’re shaking the sleep slime out of our throats to bring you a Saturday morning Juerg, talking about S03E18, “Another Proposal”! I wonder what that means! Adrian is planning the wedding, and everyone hates it! So annoying! Amy hates it too, because she’s catty and jealous! Speaking of great writing, Dave delivers his best line yet! This week, women be talking! Am I right?

Sam | Jordan

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