Episode 63: Legs-Off Square Dance

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Brenda Hampton, you’ve done it again! It’s S03E17, “Guess Who’s Not Coming to Dinner”, another episode that officially qualifies as One of The Worst! Adrian continues to have her humanity and agency stripped away from her by the writers, Ben gets what he wants, Ruben gets what he wants, and Leo forgets what he wants. This week, Val saves the episode. Thank you as always to our wonderful patrons!

Sam | Jordan

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Episode 62: Big Daddy 2

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I hope you’ve all accepted that Ruben actually got  Nora out of prison, because that’s just where we’re at now – it’s S03E16, “Mirrors”, and boy do I hate what that title is referring to! Thank god they bring it up over and over again! Between Amy’s lack of regard for Ricky’s feelings and Leo’s lack of enthusiasm for Ben wanting to get married, I don’t know who any of these characters are, but at least we have our constant: Jack is getting completely owned left and right. This week, we wash our hands of everything that happens here. If you need us, we’ll be baking a cake.

Sam | Jordan

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Episode 61: The Opposite of a Cartwheel

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You there! Stop having sex! It’s time for Juergen’ It, and we’re all getting tested for STIs! It’s the hot new thing in Los Angeles, and everyone is doing it, except nobody is actually doing it! It’s S03E15, “Who Do You Trust”! Brenda, we appreciate that you’re finally talking about sexual health, but we can’t help but question your motives on this. Meanwhile, Jack continues to get cucked and Grant continues to have no personality. It’s… good? This week, we make a joke we should have made a long time ago… and it’s sweet, sweet, sweet victory.

Sam | Jordan

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Episode 60: Daisy Duke Nukem

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Get your knees a-slappin’, folks, because friend of the show Stephanie from City Girls Make Do is joining us to discuss S03E14, “Rules of Engagement”! I guess the reason last week’s episode was so devoid of plot is because they saved it all for this one! Lots going on here, very little of it good. Two disgraceful teen crimes in this one, and possibly the stupidest thing that has ever happened on the show! (I know, but seriously!) This week, we get our hands on Kathleen Bowman’s famous gnocchi recipe. It’s ggrrant!

Sam | Jordan | Stephanie

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Episode 58: A Man Cucked

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Hello, Noisespace! We’re here on our new network to talk about S03E12, “Sweet and Sour” – a bad one, believe it or not! We get three entire Ken Fields scenes in this one, and none of them are good! Careful what you wish for, I guess. AAAAHHH!!! Sorry, I just remembered it’s basically Halloween and I got scared. This week, the Canning brothers guess each other’s birthdays. Don’t forget to wear your secret caps!

Sam | Jordan

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Episode 57: Meet Dave

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Get yourselves an ice-cold Diet Fringe and put on your pajamas – it’s time to Juerg! This week we’re talking about S03E11, “Lady Liberty”, a rare bad one! Brenda is at it again with Sam’s beloved Fake Relationship to Cause Jealousy plot, Leo is Lulking out, and Grant is being Grant. That’s all great, but you know what sucks? Dave is here. God, I hate Dave. Nobody wants you here, Dave! You suck, DAVE! This week, Sam has opinions about Mass Eff- WHO LET DAVE BACK IN? GET OUT OF HERE, DAVE!

Sam | Jordan

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Episode 56: 28 Weeks Later (Tomorrow)

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School’s out! Let’s get ready to mope! It’s S03E10, “My Girlfriend’s Back”, and we are doing our best to have a conversation about it despite not being able to hear each other half the time! This Secret Life episode features some challenging concepts, from time travel to horny teen obstetricians to sadboy shrines… Brenda is not pulling any punches this week! Fortunately, we have our favorite LA Noire characters for moral support. This week, it’s last week, yesterday. Thanks, LAPD coroner Malcolm Carruthers!

Sam | Jordan

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Episode 55: Dad Factory

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Look out! It’s S03E09, “Chicken Little”, and the sky is falling, or something! We kind of gave up on this Titlewatch. In addition to some truly horrible parenting this episode, we also get some really questionable choices from Grace, and Adrian, and Jack, and Tom. On the bright side, Madison isn’t in it. On the very dark side, Grant is. This week, we’re taking love lessons from Epic Divorce Man. Sorry for all the stuff we said in Grant voice!

Sam | Jordan

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