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Sam

(he/him)

Sam is a regular guy who likes eatin’ games, drinkin’ sites, and hangin’ posts. “Nothing wrong with that!” you say, smiling so big as you read about him.
Shows:
• Zero to Zero
• Kyle X Why?
• Sounds About Light
• Doctor Huh
17 – Milk Zuckerberg
Henry Kissinger Is Pokemon Going To Die

17 – Milk Zuckerberg

You know that classic relatable feeling when you’re about to start recording a podcast, and then an excerpt from James Comey’s upcoming book comes out that basically confirms the existence of the pee tape, and you have other things to talk about, but all you want to talk about is the pee tape? I think we’ve all been there. Anyway, here’s an episode of our podcast. We cover a broad range of topics, from the pee tape to Mark Zuckerberg to the pee tape. We also talk briefly about the pee tape. Hey, “Alex” is back!Featuring Luna, Alex, Sam, and…

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April 13, 2018
16 – WetWarioASMR.mp3
Henry Kissinger Is Pokemon Going To Die

16 – WetWarioASMR.mp3

Luna is back, and she finally has the bionic leg of her dreams! Thanks, Obama! That was so nice of him to do that surgery for her. Good thing, too, because otherwise Sam was going to kinkshame ASMR without any opposition, as he should. Luna also sits down with friend of the show Ambious to talk about the recent IDF attack on Palestinian protesters, because it wouldn’t be a week on earth without something horrific happening. Also, we come up with some alternative names for EPA administrator Scott Pruitt, just in case he decides his current one doesn’t have enough…

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April 6, 2018
15 – Ready Number One (2018 Film)
Henry Kissinger Is Pokemon Going To Die

15 – Ready Number One (2018 Film)

Great news: we managed to get a week in without having to talk about a new school shooting! That’s right, this episode’s school shooting discussion is about the same ones as last week. What a treat! But it’s not all bad – we’ve also got an extremely high-brow joke about the Forbidden Substance. And no, I’m not talking about the doja we’re blowing! Haha! That’s a thing people say, right?Featuring Lauren, Patrick, Sam, Linus, and Josh.Music used:The Taxpayers – Evil Men Demi Adejuyigbe – Rejected Theme Song from READY PLAYER ONETumblr | Twitter | Facebook | Discord | Patreon

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March 30, 2018
14 – Crimes Committed by Strong Bad
Henry Kissinger Is Pokemon Going To Die

14 – Crimes Committed by Strong Bad

Sooner or later, we’re going to have to stop even mentioning how bad every week is. Hey, bad week! Take our hand as we trudge through a river of bad news and you shall be rewarded with some great* impressions and discussions of our favorite Wikia sites. Sometimes you just have to do anything you can possibly do to stay off topic. Hey, y’all remember Chuck? *note: impressions may not actually be great. Also, here’s the Justin Trudeau emoji.Featuring Patrick, Sam, Matt, and Zach.Music used:The Taxpayers – Evil Men DRYNX – Brown WineTumblr | Twitter | Facebook | Discord |…

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March 23, 2018
12 – Women Virginia
Henry Kissinger Is Pokemon Going To Die

12 – Women Virginia

Ladies, rev up your fryers! It’s International Women’s Day, and McDonald’s has a treat for you: it’s the letter W! Aren’t you glad? In case that’s not enough to make your week great, Donald Trump is getting sued, and video games are illegal. Hooray! Look’s like God’s been watching Game of Thrones, because women are finally on top (of a pole outside of your local McDonald’s).Featuring Patrick, Sam, Matt, Caroline, and Zach.Music used:The Taxpayers – Evil Men Justin Timberlake – I’m Lovin’ ItTumblr | Twitter | Facebook | Discord | Patreon

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March 9, 2018
10 – Are You Smarter Than a High Schooler?
Henry Kissinger Is Pokemon Going To Die

10 – Are You Smarter Than a High Schooler?

We did it! Ten whole episodes! To celebrate, we discuss the Republican Wild West fantasy, Marco Rubio getting owned by teenagers, the NRA wanting no scrubs, and our milk problems. We promise not to talk about that Garfield thing anymore, and I can say that because Matt’s not here this week.Featuring Linus, Caroline, Zach, and Sam.Music used:The Taxpayers – Evil Men Rush – AnthemTumblr | Twitter | Facebook | Discord

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February 23, 2018
9 – Secret Patreon Garfield Comics
Henry Kissinger Is Pokemon Going To Die

9 – Secret Patreon Garfield Comics

Hello, friends. This episode starts with an apology for how heavy the last one was, and then immediately becomes extremely heavy because we live in a nightmare world. We do our best to keep things light on this podcast as much as we can, but!!! You know!!! Fortunately, we managed to get some great goofs in about video game titties and Jon Arbuckle’s questionable but 100% canonical beverage choices. (Note: when we’re talking about Subnautica, we mistakenly refer to the Funnie Attack Helicopter Tweet as being from the lead developer – we meant sound designer. Whoops!)Featuring Luna, Evan, Matt, Patrick,…

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February 16, 2018
7 – Henry Krangsinger
Henry Kissinger Is Pokemon Going To Die

7 – Henry Krangsinger

What’s up, gamers? This week we’re talking about a variety of topics, some bad, some worse. The HKIP gang weigh in on Chelsea Manning’s weird Cernovich thing, Woody Allen defenders, and Trump’s fun Mueller problem. Also, we finally make our opinions on cops known! After that, we clear out our backlog of questions, fantasize about Joe Kennedy’s wet mouth, and decide once and for all when it’s okay for white people to say the N word.Featuring Luna, Alex, Sam, and Linus.Music used:The Taxpayers – Evil Men Kanye West – Gold DiggerTumblrTwitterFacebook

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February 2, 2018
5 – The Nintendo Labio
Henry Kissinger Is Pokemon Going To Die

5 – The Nintendo Labio

(CW: discussion of sexual assault)Well, shoot, folks! Looks like politics is at it again! Kentucky is trying to kill everyone from Kentucky, Trump said the thing about “shithole countries”, TERFs are being TERFs, and the White House officially declared that Trump has the physique of a professional athlete. But it’s not all bad, because Chelsea Manning Is Pokemon Going to Run For Senator. Hopefully we talk about loot boxes enough in this one! Finally, Sam earns his first comedy point.Featuring Luna, Sam, Josh, Eddy, and Lauren.Music used:The Taxpayers – Evil Men The Pest – Voodoo MamboTumblrTwitterFacebook

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January 19, 2018
4 – Movieball
Henry Kissinger Is Pokemon Going To Die

4 – Movieball

Wow, Hollywood! What a great place, where the stars are out in droves and it’s close to the beach! This week on HKIPGTD, once we’re done giving ourselves an award for how good we are at podcasting, we’re talking about the Golden Globes and how every celebrity is a piece of garbage. We also revisit our old pal Sheriff Joe, commit illegal slander against James Damore, and formally welcome two of our podcasters to the white race.Featuring Sam, Matt, Alex, and Patrick.Music used:The Taxpayers – Evil Men Sleater-Kinney – Bury Our FriendsTumblrTwitter

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January 12, 2018
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