Juergen’ It

Ten years ago, the network formerly known as ABC Family allowed 7th Heaven creator Brenda Hampton to make a terrible teen drama that they inexplicably allowed to run for five seasons. Now, two brothers, the grizzled veteran Sam and the series newcomer Jordan, have made it their mission to shine a light on this garbage TV show and look at it more closely than the writers would have ever hoped anyone would.

Theme song: “Let’s Do It, Let’s Fall in Love” by Cole Porter, performed by Joan Jett and Paul Westerberg

Show art by Beelzeboob

All of our episodes can be found at secretlifepod.com, and you can also check us out in the following places!

iTunes | Google Play | Twitter | Tumblr | YouTube | Patreon | Discord | RSS

Episode 69: Do You Know Sports?

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Good news, sort of! It’s S03E23, “Round II”, and it’s not a merciless onslaught of negativity like the last episode! Are any of these Nice scenes earned? No, not really, but at least this episode doesn’t kill you when you watch it – despite Ashley’s best efforts! This week, the Brenda Hampton Apology Tour is coming to take you away. Thanks, Henry!

Sam | Jordan

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Episode 68: Dated Heating Moment

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What is there to say this week? It’s S03E22, “Loose Lips”, and we’ve got a new Worst Episode So Far. We’re joined by friend of the show Val to talk about, surprise, Ben being awful! This week, we’re sorry we brought a guest into this. As always, we wish you love, peace, and SOUL TRAIN!

Sam | Jordan | Val

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Episode 67: Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V

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Welcome to 2019! For our first Juerg of the year, we’re watching S03E21, “Young at Heart”! And folks, when the title is relevant to the episode, you know it’s gonna be a bad one! Some very questionable relationships on display here but wait actually never mind Brenda says it’s good, actually. What a relief! Could’ve sworn that was illegal but I guess not. This week, we’re seeing Sexmother live in concert. Don’t Bing it!

Sam | Jordan

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Episode 66: Ben Boink-a-Binch

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Hey, teens! It’s S03E20, “Moving In and Out”, and we’re getting to the bottom of things this week. Whose show is this? Who’s writing what? Who’s in charge of the music? Join us as we dive deeper into the production rabbit hole than ever before, which is still not very deep but it’s still deeper than ever before. It’s a new era of Juergen’ It: the era where we check who writes each episode! This week, it’s Paul’s world and we’re just living in it. See you next week, Brenda!

Sam | Jordan

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(Check our YouTube channel for a clip of the blatant retcon in the Previously On!)

Episode 65: Something for the Fellas

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Cor blimey, guvnah! Welcome to another episode of Juergen’ It! The bad British accents are out in full force this week, as we are joined once again by Stog to discuss S03E19, “Deeper and Deeper”! We’ve got two new characters, and one of these blokes is a right bloody tosser, inne? And the other one is British! This week, Jordan makes some deep pulls. [sound of me making a funny face]

Sam | Jordan | Stog

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Episode 64: The Buccinator

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Good morning! We’re shaking the sleep slime out of our throats to bring you a Saturday morning Juerg, talking about S03E18, “Another Proposal”! I wonder what that means! Adrian is planning the wedding, and everyone hates it! So annoying! Amy hates it too, because she’s catty and jealous! Speaking of great writing, Dave delivers his best line yet! This week, women be talking! Am I right?

Sam | Jordan

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Episode 63: Legs-Off Square Dance

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Brenda Hampton, you’ve done it again! It’s S03E17, “Guess Who’s Not Coming to Dinner”, another episode that officially qualifies as One of The Worst! Adrian continues to have her humanity and agency stripped away from her by the writers, Ben gets what he wants, Ruben gets what he wants, and Leo forgets what he wants. This week, Val saves the episode. Thank you as always to our wonderful patrons!

Sam | Jordan

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Episode 62: Big Daddy 2

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I hope you’ve all accepted that Ruben actually got  Nora out of prison, because that’s just where we’re at now – it’s S03E16, “Mirrors”, and boy do I hate what that title is referring to! Thank god they bring it up over and over again! Between Amy’s lack of regard for Ricky’s feelings and Leo’s lack of enthusiasm for Ben wanting to get married, I don’t know who any of these characters are, but at least we have our constant: Jack is getting completely owned left and right. This week, we wash our hands of everything that happens here. If you need us, we’ll be baking a cake.

Sam | Jordan

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