003 – Crack Stuntman is a Real Man


We’re back! Eden and Dave are joined my podcast host and namer extraordinaire Sara from HKIP, Fearbaiting, and The Wonder Yeerks. We discuss the Cheat Commando Cartoons, why real people exist in the H*R universe, and several unrelated tangents.

Art By: https://twitter.com/stellarghost

Theme Song: https://soundcloud.com/commonsense-full-ep/always-besing-dosing

046 – Have you heard of Mario?


Sam and Sara are drift compatible and piloting a big podcast robot as a two person team this week, and what a week it was. Talking points include: evil internet companies, an impromptu game of movie ball, the wacky president’s new weird thing he said, Jim Acosta – Kung Fu master, Sony steals a thing used for stealing, all covered in a 7 layer bean dip of tangents

Featuring Sam and Sara

Music used:
Evil Men – The Taxpayers
Signed, Sealed, Delivered – The California Raisins

EPISODE 121: Winchester: The House That Ghost Built


Sara has her fingers in many devious soups, so cohost-from-another-podcast Satah has stepped in with Blair to talk about this movie that is nearly as inscrutable as the house it’s based off of! Explore this house disappointingly vacant of any kind of actual atmosphere are we discuss topics such as The Podcast That Pink Lemonade Vodka Built, Dr. Deadwifeman, Poison Marketing, Absolute Champion Hellen Mirren, and MORE!

Thank you as always to Satah for our intro an outro music! You can find more of their work at http://gaygothvibes.online!

Support us on Patreon!

EPISODE 120: House of Wax (2005)


This week, hosts Blair and Sara give up on pretending not to actually be a Final Destination podcast as they’re joined by We Hate Movies’s own Chris Cabin to sorta get down to business as we talk about House of Wax (2005)! Come and join us as Blair loses his mind over wax physics, someone finally understands who the hell Sara is talking about, and a polite platter of meat and cheese is enjoyed by all in this fat, juicy hog of a closer to this years Schlocktober. Thank you all for fusing with the Schlocktober in your mind-prisms and welcoming in the new flesh, etc.!

Extra special from the bottom of our hearts thanks to Satah for composing our wonderful special intro and outro music for this spooktacular season. We love them the most, no one will ever compare, the rest of you can all give up now and check out more of their work at http://gaygothvibes.online !!

043 – A Very Sharp Katana


Let’s just get one thing straight, here. There is nothing funny about sending a b*mb to Alec Baldwin. Just something we have to clarify since we have so many listeners at the NSA! Anyway, this week was bad, as so many of them are. It’s Halloween though, kind of, so that’s something! In the spirit of the season, this episode is sponsored by GameDie.

Featuring LaurenPatrick, and Sara. Edited by Sam.

Music Used:

The Taxpayers – Evil Men

Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass – Spanish Flea

The Living Tombstone – Spooky Scary Skeletons (Remix)

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Episode Forty-One: DNA Is Literally Stored In The Balls


After a month sailing the far-reaching seas of the Chronicles, we’re returning to the main series and, thank goodness, the main drive of this entire show: rap battle brackets. Palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms melting into the form of wings, oh god, oh god, the noise of it. The crunching and churning. Oh god, oh god. It’s book 24 The Suspicion, and the kids are on a mission. We use our full cognition to determine their positions in the… aforementioned bracket. Listen, if anything rhymed with “Animorphs”, I would have gone there first,

In addition to breezing slap-happily over some 60s-ass aliens, we discuss A Grilled Cheese Devastation, Orsonwatch, Shrink Story Biases, We Know How Blair Feels About Whales, A Snow Globe Inside An Asylum Inside Of A Dream, Seerow Is An Uncle To Us All, You Have To Understand Satah That’s Not Real Science, and Here’s The Thing

EPISODE 119: Friday the 13th (2009)


Well shit folks, we’ve got just one question for you: what if his name was Jason Vore-Hees? This week, our friend Juni joins us to talk about the 2009 reboot of Friday the 13th! Find out exactly why Sara hates Jared Padalecki so much! Also, hey – want some grains?

In addition to this weirdly fun reboot we also discussed Grain Chomping, New Halloween, Dank Doctorates, Bong Disintegration, Murder Logistics, and Too Close to Furry.

RECOMMENDATIONS: Until Dawn Venom V/H/S Franchise

Thanks again to Juni for coming on the show! Find them on twitter @JUNIUS_64, on Mastodon at juni@snouts.online, and listen to them on Barking Points Memo!

Thanks as always to Satah for our intro and outro music – more of their spectacular music can be found at http://gaygothvibes.online!

Support us on Patreon!

042 – Donald Trump’s Oral Promise


We’re getting S E X Y this episode, and each host has something carnal to bring to the table! Join us as we recount this surreal week and talk about Elizabeth Warren going to The Max for some shakes with Screech! We also all get our 23andMe tests and find out just what percentage of religion we all are! Sara gets her percentages down. Zach takes us to the Gamer Corner. Alex reveals her true identity, and then does it again.

Featuring Zach, Alex, and Sara

Music Used:

The Taxpayers – Evil Men

The Beach Boys – Wouldn’t It Be Nice

EPISODE 118: The Haunting (1999)


Join us as we ring in week three of Schlocktober The Third with The Haunting (1999), joined by previous guest and friend of the show Gage! Dive into a world of whimsy, dead babies, and beautiful late 90s CGI as we mostly do really region accurate accents, like, the best Boston accent you’ve ever heard, we promise.

RECOMMENDATIONS: Venom (2018) Zombieland Saga Jazzpunk

Thank you as always to Satah for our special intro and outro music! You can find more of their work at http://gaygothvibes.online!

Episode Forty: Modern Sci-fi Is All Dystopia Teens


Sit down with me, little bird, & let me tell you a story about how a series about the horrors of war somehow becomes even warrier & more horrific. It’s The Hork-Bajir Chronicles, and it’s just upsetting. Let’s get real sad about it!

If you need a pick-me-up, think about the last episode and check out this amazing canon image of a canon event. Remember how fun that was???

In addition to being generally kinda bummered about, like, war & stuff, we discussed: Yeerk Sexual Dimorphism, Cry Button Songs, Esplin, Turns Out The Yeerks Suck, Never Be Punctual Or You Might Get Killed In Front Of Your Kid, Esplin, “I Replaced Some Of The Lyrics To No Children With ‘Wakka Wakka’”, Bird Insurance (For Birds), and Esplin