What if you were like 2 weeks old or whatever and inadvertently scanned an Autobot scientist’s drone as your alternate mode, and then you meet him in the woods while you’re looking for a monster from Filipino folklore? What if you and your sister got into a fight so bad you accidentally stumble into a secret government blacksite and almost get murdered by a former war criminal’s training program? What if you won the big gaming tournament but none of your family were around to celebrate with you because you had unwittingly isolated yourself from your own traditions? What if there was a guy named Schloder? Where is Mrs. Squiggles? Why isn’t Alex Malto on the 76ers right now? We have answers to some of these questions for you, I guess.
