Episode Sixty-Three: The Cycle Of Coffee Headcanons Ends With Us


Y’all… we are in the home stretch now, and it shows. It’s book 43: The Test, and we’re spending time with Taylor the terrible torturer & being tender about Tobias’ trauma. Totally. Taxing talk.

In addition to the counteracting of jingoist propaganda for kids, we discuss: Gamer Corner: Outer Wilds, Andalites Have Posable Eyes, Tobias Doesn’t Know His Pasta Shapes, Doctor Who… Uh… Period, Mallrat AU, and Brunch Drinks

Episode Sixty-Two: The Dial-Up Internet Of Vegetarianism

We’re using this podcast to climb directly into your ears to go on a Fantastic Voyage through your blood. Sowwy!! While we’re on our vein hike, let’s talk about Animorphs book 42: The Journey.
In addition to following some kids through another kid, we discuss: Doing Cars Wrong (Predominantly), Big Sit In Passenger Seat Of Truck Energy, Science Is Cowards, They Come Upon The Helmacrons, Karaoke Has Lower Stakes Except When It Doesn’t, The Theoretical Stress Of Cooking Meat, and Let Me Record Podcasts On My Fridge

Episode Sixty-One: Will The Real Slim Goodbody Please Stand Up


Returning to the studio after a few months with Animorphs book forty-one, The Familiar, where actually… nothing is very familiar. Think of who you were at age fifteen and come on this journey with us.

In addition to being generally befuddled, we discuss: Death Note Yaoi, Star Wars Didn’t Exist Until Three Years Ago, High Quality Pictures Of Slim Goodbody, I Assume Somewhere Blair Is Screaming, Always Needing Interrogation Maybe or Monday is Monday funnier, and Advent Calendar Of Trauma

Referenced media: High quality picture of Slim Goodbody

Episode Sixty: The Vriska Of Animorphs


Welcome to our wonderful life diving into the classic “what if something had never happened” trope with the fourth & final Megamorphs! Join us as we watch Cassie become unstuck in time, hear Marco and Rachel grow closer together, and see the life of all of our favourite characters extinguished one by one. It’s Animorphs, baby!

In addition to whatever it was we talked abt when we recorded this more than two months ago, sorry, my bad, we discuss: The Third Host Emily Swashbuckle, Mostly Clothed On The Internet & Drinkin’ Coffee, Blair’s Beef, and Little Shitty Arms

Referenced media: Sharks are smooth as hell, Satah + Garold recording selfie

Episode Fifty-Nine: I Don’t Give A Shit; Extradite Me


Andalites? Disguised as human? On my Earth? It’s more likely than you think. This week, we meet some other refugees from the Andalite army, and learn a very important if kinda hamfisted lesson about ableism from Animorphs book 40: The Other!

CW: Ableism (We rarely attach content warnings to this show, but the wildly dehumanising way this book tackles ableism warrants one)

In addition to this very special after-school episode, we discuss: The Deep Wonder Yeerks Lore, We All Have Shipping Disease, Summer Wars AU, Marco Would Do OK Online, Dirtbag Leftist Marco, Love Magic, and Matt Gamecube Will Never Die

Referenced media: Josie & The Pussycats Is The Greatest Film Ever Made

Episode Fifty-Eight: President Trash Boy


It’s time for a Cassie book, which means it’s time to settle down, open ourselves up to our more pacifist tendencies, and marvel at the Cronenberg-esque abomination that is an ant poorly attempting to morph into a human being. And also there’s a cape buffalo. He turns into a human too. It’s Animorphs book 39, The Hidden, and I’m sure Cassie’s fine!

In addition to the general malaise that is these authors are trying to destroy this sweet little girl, we discuss: The Highs, The Lows, The Side-To-Sides, The Trash, The Boy, The Shorp Porps, and There Are So Many Ants

Episode Fifty-Seven: It’s Like Sex Ed But Forever And War


Crumph crumph: the sound of a book written in the 90s trying to deal with gender. It’s Animorphs book 38, The Arrival, which means it’s time to discuss our various mouth pleasures. Mine is just saying “crumph crumph”!

Referenced media: Millennials Aren’t Growing Horns From Their Celled Phones, that statue of Oscar Wilde

Episode Fifty-Six: Some Houses Go, But Again, Not Particularly Fast


No controllers on this podcast! Only human beings who love the human character Rachel. She is strong, she is real, and she is our friend. It’s Animorphs book 37, The Weakness, and we’re considerably more excited about Visser 3’s fantastically strong ex-boyfriend energy than any of the actual plot. Rachel’s the boss now and we’re the Supernatural of podcasts, I guess.

In addition to other people named Rachel, we discuss: Hubris: The Book, Essay Filler, I Have To Live With Me ALL THE TIME, Houses Are The Slowest Thing That We make, Golf Ball Murder, Red Lights Georg, Oh! My Hubris, and Negged By Amazon

Episode Fifty-Five: Put Ya Dick in Some Wires


Whew! That was a real tough battle, but Sara managed to get out of Canada alive! Unfortunately, we had to leave Satah behind for a little bit to fend off the oncoming Yeerk horde. Don’t worry, I’m sure they’ll be fine. In the meantime, we took a trip down to not-exactly-Atlantis to take a look at some Beegees, according to Rachel. It’s The Mutation!

In addition to Shorts Season, Johnny Two Brains, Porn Laptop, Mob Psycho Animorphs AU, Double Depression, Closed-System Reproduction, and Everybody Knows Paprika’s Fucked.

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Episode Fifty-Four: Because Of Her Tendency To Commit Treason Immediately


In the longest episode yet, we somehow stay completely on-topic. In our defense, there’s a lot going on. It’s a seasonally appropriate Animorphs special today as we discuss the book Visser. No, not the monologuing himbo; the other one. Oh shit.

In addition to… huh. No, seriously, this is just us talking about purely the book for almost an hour and a half.

Referenced media: You made this? I made this.