Juan

Watch out for those killbots! Beware their… grappling hook tasers? This time, the guys take a look at the gleefully schlocky 80s B-slasher Chopping Mall. Also, Derek introduces his co-host to a TV show he might like, while Juan muses about the uniformity of pretend weaponry.This episode’s recommendations:Night of the CometRe-Animator

Better late than never! Call in the Air Force and don’t forget your Air Jordans, because this time around, the guys watched Roland Emmerich’s 2013 destruct-o-rama White House Down. Also, Derek questions his co-host’s level of sobriety, while Juan busts out his best Muppets impressions.This episode’s recommendations:StargateJupiter Ascending

Corral your livestock and tell your giant pet rat to pipe down! This time, the guys take a look at Louis Malle’s 1975 surrealist post-apocalyptic coming-of-age allegory Black Moon. Also, Juan gets slightly distracted by a clothing sale, and Derek discovers the most ill-advised yet bluntly-accurate way to describe the male gaze.This episode’s recommendations:Elevator to the GallowsFlesh for Frankenstein

Prepare to be capital-s Sad! This time, the guys take a look at Dan Ireland’s adaptation of the Dolly Parton-inspired, E.L. Doctorow-penned Jolene. Also, they also almost certainly mess up Chazz Palminteri’s name (sorry, Chazz). Not a whole lot of tangents in this one, just a lot of discussion about the intersection of tone, style, and appropriateness.This episode’s recommendations:Take ShelterThe Tree of Life(Note: This movie has a fair about of sexual abuse and violence in it, so be forewarned that those will be a recurring topic over the course of the pod’s running time.)

Be careful not to get any orange paint on that fancy ascot of yours! This time, the guys take a look the feather-light Disney sci-fi comedy The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes, which stars an 18-year-old Kurt Russell. Also, Derek and Juan trade both punch-up ideas for this movie and really lame computer-based James Bond puns.This episode’s recommendations:Death ProofBreakdown

It’s time to go into your custom-built double-door walk-in closet and grab that 400$ pair of shoes, ‘cause it’s showtime! This time around, the guys take a look at the serio-comic glitter-bomb that is the first Sex and the City movie. Also, Juan embraces his inner Samantha, while Derek suggests an alternate soundtrack to the film that might enhance the viewing experience.This episode’s recommendations:Big Trouble in Little ChinaDreamgirls

Bust out the gas masks and dust off your old copy of The Mind Is a Terrible Thing to Taste! For episode three, the guys take a look a Richard Stanley’s cult splatter-punk transmission Hardware. Also, Juan and Derek debate which song would better suit a post-apocalyptic motorcycle rampage (only one of them actually sings a portion of their chosen song).This episode’s recommendations:Total RecallDust Devil

We hope you’re gonna like this pod! For their second episode, the guys take a look at John Huston’s adaptation of the hit musical Annie. Also, Juan continuously references a certain other version of Annie he liked better (here’s a hint: it’s not the made-for-TV Rob Marshall one) and Derek sings the lamest libretto in the history of mankind. Also he gets fired up and political.This episode’s recommendations:Saturday Night and Sunday MorningPennies from Heaven

In our inaugural episode, the guys take a look at Ridley Scott’s endearingly goofy fantasy/adventure jam Legend. Also, Juan grills his co-host about his inability to produce a list of his favourite on-screen Beelzebubs, while Derek explains why he thinks Tom Cruise is the least believable actor around.You can check out Derek and Juan’s film-crit work over at Dim the House Lights, and you can follow them on their respective Twitter accounts (@woahitsjuanito and @derek_g).This episode’s recommendations:ClueCollateral