EPISODE 121: Winchester: The House That Ghost Built

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Sara has her fingers in many devious soups, so cohost-from-another-podcast Satah has stepped in with Blair to talk about this movie that is nearly as inscrutable as the house it’s based off of! Explore this house disappointingly vacant of any kind of actual atmosphere are we discuss topics such as The Podcast That Pink Lemonade Vodka Built, Dr. Deadwifeman, Poison Marketing, Absolute Champion Hellen Mirren, and MORE!

Thank you as always to Satah for our intro an outro music! You can find more of their work at http://gaygothvibes.online!

Support us on Patreon!

EPISODE 120: House of Wax (2005)

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This week, hosts Blair and Sara give up on pretending not to actually be a Final Destination podcast as they’re joined by We Hate Movies’s own Chris Cabin to sorta get down to business as we talk about House of Wax (2005)! Come and join us as Blair loses his mind over wax physics, someone finally understands who the hell Sara is talking about, and a polite platter of meat and cheese is enjoyed by all in this fat, juicy hog of a closer to this years Schlocktober. Thank you all for fusing with the Schlocktober in your mind-prisms and welcoming in the new flesh, etc.!

Extra special from the bottom of our hearts thanks to Satah for composing our wonderful special intro and outro music for this spooktacular season. We love them the most, no one will ever compare, the rest of you can all give up now and check out more of their work at http://gaygothvibes.online !!

Episode Forty-One: DNA Is Literally Stored In The Balls

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After a month sailing the far-reaching seas of the Chronicles, we’re returning to the main series and, thank goodness, the main drive of this entire show: rap battle brackets. Palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms melting into the form of wings, oh god, oh god, the noise of it. The crunching and churning. Oh god, oh god. It’s book 24 The Suspicion, and the kids are on a mission. We use our full cognition to determine their positions in the… aforementioned bracket. Listen, if anything rhymed with “Animorphs”, I would have gone there first,

In addition to breezing slap-happily over some 60s-ass aliens, we discuss A Grilled Cheese Devastation, Orsonwatch, Shrink Story Biases, We Know How Blair Feels About Whales, A Snow Globe Inside An Asylum Inside Of A Dream, Seerow Is An Uncle To Us All, You Have To Understand Satah That’s Not Real Science, and Here’s The Thing

EPISODE 119: Friday the 13th (2009)

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Well shit folks, we’ve got just one question for you: what if his name was Jason Vore-Hees? This week, our friend Juni joins us to talk about the 2009 reboot of Friday the 13th! Find out exactly why Sara hates Jared Padalecki so much! Also, hey – want some grains?

In addition to this weirdly fun reboot we also discussed Grain Chomping, New Halloween, Dank Doctorates, Bong Disintegration, Murder Logistics, and Too Close to Furry.

RECOMMENDATIONS: Until Dawn Venom V/H/S Franchise

Thanks again to Juni for coming on the show! Find them on twitter @JUNIUS_64, on Mastodon at juni@snouts.online, and listen to them on Barking Points Memo!

Thanks as always to Satah for our intro and outro music – more of their spectacular music can be found at http://gaygothvibes.online!

Support us on Patreon!

EPISODE 118: The Haunting (1999)

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Join us as we ring in week three of Schlocktober The Third with The Haunting (1999), joined by previous guest and friend of the show Gage! Dive into a world of whimsy, dead babies, and beautiful late 90s CGI as we mostly do really region accurate accents, like, the best Boston accent you’ve ever heard, we promise.

RECOMMENDATIONS: Venom (2018) Zombieland Saga Jazzpunk

Thank you as always to Satah for our special intro and outro music! You can find more of their work at http://gaygothvibes.online!

Episode Forty: Modern Sci-fi Is All Dystopia Teens

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Sit down with me, little bird, & let me tell you a story about how a series about the horrors of war somehow becomes even warrier & more horrific. It’s The Hork-Bajir Chronicles, and it’s just upsetting. Let’s get real sad about it!

If you need a pick-me-up, think about the last episode and check out this amazing canon image of a canon event. Remember how fun that was???

In addition to being generally kinda bummered about, like, war & stuff, we discussed: Yeerk Sexual Dimorphism, Cry Button Songs, Esplin, Turns Out The Yeerks Suck, Never Be Punctual Or You Might Get Killed In Front Of Your Kid, Esplin, “I Replaced Some Of The Lyrics To No Children With ‘Wakka Wakka’”, Bird Insurance (For Birds), and Esplin

EPISODE 117: Halloween III: Season of the Witch

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LONG, LONG AGO WE WERE TOLD TALES. TALES OF THIS FORBIDDEN MONTH OF HORROR FILMS, THIS “SCHLOCKTOBER” WHICH NO PERSON HAD MADE IT THROUGH ALIVE. WE’RE HERE TODAY TO TELL YOU: THOSE STORIES WERE TRUE.

And hey! Li’l Clem is back with us, returning to discuss the Michael Myers-less entry in this franchise, Halloween III: Season of the Witch! Follow us as we journey down this all-to-familiar road when all the kids put on a Halloween mask and turn into bugs and snakes. Don’t you just hate it when that happens?

The Masc Top Lifestyle, Where Is My Hoverboard?, Doctor Burt Reynolds, Dirt Transformation Sequence, Halloween H2O: Just Add Water, and A Dissection of Rick & Morty.

RECOMMENDATIONS: Born Ruffians’s Red, Yellow & Blue Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Golden Wind The Venture Bros.

Thanks again to Clem for joining us – you can find them on Twitter @catboyrights, or on tumblr at powerfisto!

Thanks as always to Satah for our incredible intro/outro music! Check them out at http://gaygothvibes.online!

Support us on Patreon!

Episode Thirty Nine: Rivals-To-Lovers Or Animorphs Is Dead To Me

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We janked up the timeline by skipping books and we’re getting picked off of the show one-by-one as we accidentally unborn ourselves in our attempts to go back and fix the error. Uh-oh! With The Andalite Chronicles, we’re hopping all the way back to before the story even began, now with the baggage of loving these children way too much.

In addition to loving Andalites so goddamn much, we discuss: Improvised Burlesque Floor Routines, Are There Literally Any Andalite Women?, Ax Would Eat A Cat, Andalite Culture Is: Being Kind Of A Dumbass, Do Andalites Purr?, Andalites Better Purr, There Are No Yeerk Civilians, and Andalite Scratching Posts

EPISODE 116: My Bloody Valentine 3D

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SCHLOCKTOBER IS UPON US. SCHLOCKTOBER IS ALL. WE HAVE BEEN SUBSUMED BY THE MIGHT AND POWER OF THE ALL KNOWING SCHLOCKTOBER. DEATH TO FEARBAITING; LONG LIVE THE NEW POD.

*coughs* And, uh, friend of the show Alex Charles is here to pop off the new season with our buddy Dean Winchester in My Bloody Valentine 3D! Join us as we discuss pussy-out looks, Pick-Axe-Man Disease, aaaall of the dimensions, Noobz (2012), eggs, and so much more nonsense!

Big big HUGE shout out and thanks to our very dear friend Satah for mixing us a new intro/outro for the holiday! Check out more of their work at http://gaygothvibes.online! We love you the most, don’t tell our other children.

EPISODE 115: Halloween (2007)

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On this Schlocktober eve, the ghosts of Schlocktober past have occupied our hosts to make them way, way madder about this movie than it deserves. Join us as we recount Rob Zombie’s take on Halloween with potentially misplaced ire, as we ramp up into the monthlong celebration of garbage that is Schlocktober!

In addition to Michael Myers’s Second Coming, we also discussed Beerbaiting, Bad Edits, Motives?, Weird Music Selections, and A Schlocktober Preview!

RECOMMENDATIONS: The original Ace Attorney trilogy The Paper Chase’s Now You Are One Of Us

Vote on Junius’s Schlocktober movie here! And make sure you tune in to our first Schlocktober stream on Friday, September 28th!

Thank you as always to Satah for our excellent intro and outro music, their music can be found at http://gaygothvibes.online!

Support us on Patreon!