Podcasting is Forbidden in the Cloud Recesses

Gather round, slimelikers and fastboy math calculators! It is our burden to report on both chapter 71, "Departure--part III," and the latest disgraceful act of fandom rendering the internet inoperable. In this chapter, rude stinky pit boy Wei Wuxian meets up with Lan Wangji for a cringe compilation livestream, enters a Ratatouille flashback, and goes orangutan mode. Meanwhile, your hosts have a game to play, a Rick Sanchez quota to hit, and some zodiac signs to apologize to (and for). Whether you're #WithHer or whether you're hitting the Jiggy butt buffet, we hope you enjoy! Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen –…

Today we wrap up the "Tendewness" arc with chapters 67 and 68, officially ending our long national nightmare of waiting to get to chapter funny 69 (nice). In this episode, MXTX shows off her degree in clickbait, Wen the not alive anymore Ning gets a good new voice, Wei Wuxian be's delicate, Lan Wangji makes ellipses audible, there's some ninjers, and a boy embodies the sentiment and use of Jack Spicer. Meanwhile, your hosts discover Virtual Rickality, Fallon remembers a bit, and Roy breaks a personal record! Oh, and remember Su She? He's back and he still sucks! Intro: Carly…

We are getting dangerously close to the sex number (of both chapters AND episodes), but today, we're talking about chapters 65 & 66, parts III and IV of the "Tenderness" arc. Lan Xichen XY gets out of his freezer bed to do some bump-n-dump, Lan Wangji looks disrespectfully, Wei Wuxian puts on the most benevolent possible trollface, Li'l Apple takes a Li'l Napple, and your hosts enroll in an impromptu Icelandic language course. Don't forget to spay and bneuter your bnuuy! RIP LAN QIREN HE WAS KILLED BY HIS BOYS MAKING IT CLAP ON THE GRAM Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen…

Join your hosts at the Thomas Kinkade house of the extremely normal Lan family for chapters 63 and 64, parts 1 and 2 of the "Tenderness" arc! In this episode, Wei Wuxian is in full uguu mode, Lan Wangji (strapped) makes a bitch thing come out of his mouth, and Lan Xichen reminds us that his room is called the cold room because he be chilling. Meanwhile, Roy becomes QQAnon, Fallon introduces a new segment, and we both put on our airbrushed badass Jiggy t-shirts for it all! Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf.…

It is at last time to finish up the Pussin's Arc with chapter 60! We're putting on our jobes in honor of history's most tragic bruh moment. Jiang Cheng has been epicly memed, Wei Wuxian hambones, Wen Qing explains things queerly, and your leftist Communist Marxist (fascist) hosts are dying hard and loving controversy, as usual. Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin Outro: Pink Floyd - Another Brick in the Wall; arr. & perf. by Fabio Vetro Also used: Frederic Chopin – Nocturne in E-Flat, Op. 9, No. 2, perf. by…

The plot rememberers have logged back on, and this time we're reading chapters 58 and 59, parts III and IV of the "Poisons" arc! These chapters are extremely sad, but don't worry, we found the worst ways possible to have fun with them. Jiang Cheng feels a mother's love for the first time in his life, Wei Wuxian is catatonic (but hurgling), Wen Ning don't snitch, and Wen Zhuliu gets a good and funny voice as well as good and funny thoughts. Also, your hosts explore all of the things you can make a bong out of, create divorce boat…

This week, your hosts are logging into their little accounts and posting their little takes about chapter 57, "Poisons--pt. III," and if you thought Madam Yu would never give an #EpicClapback then we kindly invite you to spit out your cereal. In this chapter, Wei Wuxian is disrespectful to dirt (Wen Chao), the Wen sect officially crosses the disgusting event horizon, and we learn that no matter how magic a teen may be, getting grounded is still the ultimate punishment. Meanwhile, your hosts discuss sexy robot maid twins, how good Megamind (2010) is, and the power words of "Keanu Xichen."…