Podcasting is Forbidden in the Cloud Recesses


71 – Call Me Precum Cause I Be Dripping

Happy Homestuck Day! We're honoring the occasion by discovering all the ways in which MDZS and Andrew Hussie's [VALUE JUDGMENT REDACTED] webcomic are exactly the same! Then we read chapter 75, "Distance--part II," a good chapter where Wen Ning gets his brain back and immediately becomes a butler, Wei Wuxian is the demons, everyone at the Burial Mound plays American football with a baby, and Jiang Yanli is, as some might say, Very Clean. Come have a listen! And please let us know if you have any idea what potato onomatopoeia might be. (The Official PodRecesses MDZS/Homestuck Venn Diagram can…

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70 – Flamin’ Hot Cheetos (Which We All Love)

Debate all you want about whether this qualifies as an "episode" when we spend perhaps 1/4 of it talking about chapter 74, "Distance--part I." It means nothing to either the cancelled hosts of this extremely cancelled podcast or Chief Cultivator of the show Milk. While Wei Wuxian forgets his car, A-Yuan meets his first not-stinky adult, and Lan Wangji does baby voice, we focus on the important matters at hand: embracing/avoiding our Shindanmaker Fates, discovering the origin of Death Grips, finding tiny men, and undergoing forced Noisespacification. Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by…

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69 – (Nice) Doodoo-ragonist

We've made it to 69 (nice (funny)) episodes and 2 years of laffs! Dr. Janos Podcasts joins us this week to read chapter 73, "Recklessness--part II," a normal chapter where nothing bad happens and we all finish it feeling good and normal. Jiang Cheng declares his brother Hank Hill, Wei Wuxian says fuck, Jin Guangyao comes to save the day, the entire cultivation world collectively announces that women be women, and Nie Mingjue doesn't appear enough. Meanwhile, the government assigns us kin, the fandom is once again bad and wrong, and we engage in a 13-minute-long conversation about Steely Dan,…

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68 – Rollin’ Up Stinky

Coming to you live from our new """"""""""studio"""""""""" (kitchen table with 2 acoustic foam squares), we're here to read chapter 72, "Recklessness--part I," and get into some clowntroversy! In this chapter, everybody heads to the Koi Tower, where Jiggy's OnlyFans finds its best-paying subscriber, Bitch McGuangshan Stand Up, and the entire cultivation world has ethics to argue and themes to put on display. You can also join us as we write a really good Gaia Online AU, learn about cookie metal, and explore horticulture, both in the form of growing Maynard James Keenans and enjoying Orntch! We welcome both Waffle…

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67 – He Is To Smart For School

Gather round, slimelikers and fastboy math calculators! It is our burden to report on both chapter 71, "Departure--part III," and the latest disgraceful act of fandom rendering the internet inoperable. In this chapter, rude stinky pit boy Wei Wuxian meets up with Lan Wangji for a cringe compilation livestream, enters a Ratatouille flashback, and goes orangutan mode. Meanwhile, your hosts have a game to play, a Rick Sanchez quota to hit, and some zodiac signs to apologize to (and for). Whether you're #WithHer or whether you're hitting the Jiggy butt buffet, we hope you enjoy! Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen –…

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66 – Qiankun Jorts

It's chapter 70, "Departure--part II," and we've got Chief Cultivator of the show Jared here to help us try out "entirely to damn many" funny voices! We've got a legacy of Punished Marge to uphold, after all. In this one, Jiang Yanli owns everyone with facts and logic, just about every Jin throws a tantrum, and only one man (not shown) has the vision, the power, and the thighs to escape any culpability. Afterwards, we all learn a little something about car foreheads and girlboss soundtracks, and Fallon takes a breaky from their bakey to lay down the Fanfiction.net law.…

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65 – Look At How My Boy’s Posting Cringe

In no good faith could we talk about the funny sex number chapter (aka "Departure--Part I") without Sworn Brother Without Manners Brooks (notes pictured). This week, we take a look at the parallels between MDZS and Ariel Needs Legs, whether it's white knighting if it's for your sister, the real meaning of Blue Forgetting Machine, taking thicc leave, and, of course, Donust. Plus, Brooks throws your hosts the jokerfication option in a special revival of a long-dead bit. Much to think about! Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin Outro: Walter Murphy,…

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64 – Joseph Robinette Bichen

Today we wrap up the "Tendewness" arc with chapters 67 and 68, officially ending our long national nightmare of waiting to get to chapter funny 69 (nice). In this episode, MXTX shows off her degree in clickbait, Wen the not alive anymore Ning gets a good new voice, Wei Wuxian be's delicate, Lan Wangji makes ellipses audible, there's some ninjers, and a boy embodies the sentiment and use of Jack Spicer. Meanwhile, your hosts discover Virtual Rickality, Fallon remembers a bit, and Roy breaks a personal record! Oh, and remember Su She? He's back and he still sucks! Intro: Carly…

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63 – I Did Not Perpetrate Boneghazi

We are getting dangerously close to the sex number (of both chapters AND episodes), but today, we're talking about chapters 65 & 66, parts III and IV of the "Tenderness" arc. Lan Xichen XY gets out of his freezer bed to do some bump-n-dump, Lan Wangji looks disrespectfully, Wei Wuxian puts on the most benevolent possible trollface, Li'l Apple takes a Li'l Napple, and your hosts enroll in an impromptu Icelandic language course. Don't forget to spay and bneuter your bnuuy! RIP LAN QIREN HE WAS KILLED BY HIS BOYS MAKING IT CLAP ON THE GRAM Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen…

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62 – R.L. Gind’s Goofbumps

Join your hosts at the Thomas Kinkade house of the extremely normal Lan family for chapters 63 and 64, parts 1 and 2 of the "Tenderness" arc! In this episode, Wei Wuxian is in full uguu mode, Lan Wangji (strapped) makes a bitch thing come out of his mouth, and Lan Xichen reminds us that his room is called the cold room because he be chilling. Meanwhile, Roy becomes QQAnon, Fallon introduces a new segment, and we both put on our airbrushed badass Jiggy t-shirts for it all! Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf.…

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