Scrooges rejoice! It’s finally time for S05E12, “Hedy’s Happy Holiday House”, AKA the Secret Life Christmas Episode, and we’ve got fellow Christmas fan Roy back on the show to help us celebrate. We’re Jewish and mad, and it’s all Brenda’s fault. The War on Christmas is real, and it’s here in the studio tonight. This week, it turns out Santa is real. Sure, why not?
Live from Arizona the day after Thanksgiving, the boys are here in the same room trying to avoid eye contact while discussing S05E11, “Half Over”! Sam forgot to bring his notes but that’s okay, because Jordan has his and they’re moderately legible. Jack’s life hangs in the balance, but who cares about that when Ethan is being Ben 3.0? Anyway, I think that’s pretty much it. I think that’s basically everything that happens in this one. This week, you’ll never guess who’s back… it’s Tammy!
Content warning: this episode again deals with the topic of child sex trafficking. Although much less often and much less directly than last week, there is still some distasteful stuff that you might not enjoy to hear. Thanks Brenda! It’s S05E10, “Regrets”, and boy do we have a few of those. Thank god we have a funny posting grandma to help us through these trying times. This week, there’s a new town in town. Here comes Sherman!
Content warning: this episode, for some reason, deals with the topic of child sex trafficking, and is handled as well as you would expect from Brenda Hampton. If you don’t want to hear about that, and about what she thinks of sex work in general, this is an episode to skip! Unfortunately, friend of the show Val (who we promise did not know what the episode was about before picking to be on this week) has joined us once again for S05E09, “Property Not for Sale”! Do you get it?! This week, we can’t wait to enjoy another regular day in Small-Town LA. And now to take a big sip of coffee and look at the newspaper!
What can I say about S05E08, “Settings Things Straight,” that the title doesn’t say for me? If you thought we were done with this awful storyline, you were underestimating just how much Brenda resents Shailene. At least now it’s finally truly over and done, right? Right? This week, we’re revolutionizing the Arizona diarrhea game. It’s… intriguing.
Happy November! We’re coming at you from the past for a spooky scary Halloween episode of Juergen’ It, talking about S05E07, “Girlfriends”! It’s season 5 of this teen drama, just about time for an episode about bullying! That’s what this episode is about, right? Meanwhile, we’re saying goodbye to the character of Henry Miller, and welcoming new cast member Hank Melar. What a cool guy! This week, we’ve got a very special little guy we’d like you to meet. It’s Jack!
Hot on the heels of our Patreon-exclusive Grease 2 episode which you should definitely check out, we’re heading right back to the bowling alley for S05E06, “Holy Rollers”! Just kidding, this is actually a church episode, not a bowling episode. Don’t feel bad if you fell for that lie, because last week did exactly as much work foreshadowing everyone going to the bowling alley as it did foreshadowing everyone going to church: none. Anyway, everyone is going to church for some reason. This week, we’ve got reefer madness. Better hide your knives!
We’re back, and doing our best to maintain enthusiasm about returning from vacation to watch S05E05, “Past History”! This episode comes to us from the minds of the Turk sisters, who have exciting new things in store for us: a relationship that is bad, and a new character who is probably also bad! At least we can distract ourselves with some cool pictures of tents. This week, we’re being promised elephants. Don’t let us down, Brenda!
What’s up fellow teens? To tide you over while Sam is on vacation, we’ve decided to unlock our very first Grant High School Exchange Program. Sit back and relax as we take you singing and dancing through the halls of East High in Small Town Albuquerque. We’re talking about mostly diegetic musiCALs, faked basketball shots, Troy’s Metal Gear Mission, and ending up in a refrigerator. This week, we totally PUNK’d you!
Friends, welcome back to The Podcast That Thanked Brenda Too Many Times. Ashley may have escaped from the show, but we don’t have that luxury. We are here to discuss S05E04, “Lies and Byes”, a rare Title title from this show. Ashley’s gone forever and nobody really seems to care! Fair enough! We have bigger fish to fry I guess, between Ben’s arson, and Ben’s accusation. It’s fine. Ben did nothing wrong, for once. This week, it turns out Eugene is still around. He’s just hiding behind the green screen.