The Wonder Yeerks

It’s a sleepy pod, baby! Cuddle on in for some relaxing bedtime discussion of Animorphs book thirty-one, The Conspiracy. Note: in this case, we assume that you prefer your lullabies to be full of children experiencing trauma.In addition to parents constantly being in peril, we discuss: 2b28, Ow My Baby Hand, Tiger Tiddies, Transgenderism Is Lit, and Beatrix Potter Knows Something We Don’t Know

This is not a Frozen podcast… or is it? Whatever; it’s gay children with dead parents, magic powers, and tons of trauma from top to bottom as we tackle Animorphs book thirty, The Reunion. Do you wanna break a Yeerk pool? C’mon let’s go and play~!In addition to loving Marco with our whole hearts, we also discuss: Marco’s Modern Memes, TobIphone S, I Hate The Sploots So Much, If Elevators Were Vacuums Would Everyone Be Better At Parkour, Most Iconic Rivers To Throw Yourself Into, and Laser Noises Are Not ThreateningReferenced media: Frozen 2 trailer, pics of mountain goats with…

It’s about that TIME to figure out if you can keep a SECRET. Elfangor’s secret! In honour of this episode being shorter than usual, so is the amount of effort I’m going to spend on this description. If you hate it so much, why not go kill my goddamn grandpa so I’m never even ON this podcast? Fuck you. The book is MegaMorphs Three: Elfangor’s Secret. I said it already! Up top!! Whatever. I’m the version of me from the bad timeline where you killed my grandpa’s neighbour who was just in there trying to water my grandpa’s plants and…

Just because someone is absolutely one hundred percent guaranteed by the stars to kill one of your co-hosts is no reason not to stan. It’s a Cassie book, which means a lot of fumbling through trying to process the philosophical core of the Animorphs series. Also, eels! Join three people who have grown so ancient & wizened that they can no longer handle your standard iced tea to discuss this sweet treat of a book, number 29, The Sickness. Ooh ah ah ah.In addition to moral complexity of alien species, we discuss: No Jokes 2K19, Licensed Fast Food Toys, and…

A heart-wrenching book about animal experimentation and factory farming somehow results in an episode that gets randy’n’rowdy by the middle of the intro. Don’t ask us how, but the energy just goes up from there. It’s Animorphs book 28, The Experiment, and we’re asking the tough questions: what if literally no-one can read???In addition to having perhaps too-high expectations of the philosophical centre of a children’s book, we discuss: We Don’t Know The Upper Bounds Of How Many Hands Visser 3 Has, One Single Framed Photo Of Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill, Selfish Extreme Home Makeover Host, Desperate Housewives Is Actually Good, Riverdale TangentReferenced…

In addition to book 27, The Exposed, we also discuss: This Podcast Episode Is The One Where We All Roleplay As Minor Characters From Animorphs, Gay Coded Side Character, Footloose Is A Bad Play By The Way, Synthesiser Censoring Of Smart Home Activation, How To Define An Arm, and Droid Rights

Can someone, for the love of god, get these kids some therapy? Jake had a living, thinking being die in his head and now the fucking eye of Sauron is visiting him in his dreams. It’s book twenty-six, The Attack, and they don’t even get to enjoy the touring stage production of The Lion King that came to their school before the Ellimist sends them off to play team deathmatch for the fate of a species. Also, Erek is here! Or, at least, he was; there’s a wall standing in his place now.In addition to hyping up the transformative power…

This episode got lost in the snowy tundra for three weeks, where it repeatedly almost died of hypothermia before morphing back to its original form and then morphing back to let itself almost die again. Uh-oh! Luckily, it survived. In this very scattered episode, we read Animorphs book 25: The Extreme. The Yeerks of being incredibly tired and giggly have infected all of us and it’s fine, it’s fine, we’re fine.In addition to spending one of our hours discussing this, we also cover: Finally Sara Is Going To Decapitate Her Co-hosts, We Are All Gamecube, WHO IS THIS DOG?, It’s…

After a month sailing the far-reaching seas of the Chronicles, we’re returning to the main series and, thank goodness, the main drive of this entire show: rap battle brackets. Palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms melting into the form of wings, oh god, oh god, the noise of it. The crunching and churning. Oh god, oh god. It’s book 24 The Suspicion, and the kids are on a mission. We use our full cognition to determine their positions in the… aforementioned bracket. Listen, if anything rhymed with “Animorphs”, I would have gone there first,In addition to breezing slap-happily over some…