Welcome to season 6 of Stonks and the City! This week’s episode is titled To Market, To Market, whatever the fuck that means. Turns out, the stock market makes bimbos of us all. In other news, three of our gals are investing (get it) in their men with varying amounts of relationship profit (do you get it though). And then there’s Samantha whose plot is literally just insider trading. Stonks!
Apologies about our audio issues this week – Alex’s audio is lower quality for the first 30 minutes but then it goes back to normal.
We made it to the season 5 finale, I Love A Charade! The gals are off to a wedding in the Hamptons, but they’re being kind of judgmental this week and we’re annoyed about it. If only they could be as unproblematic as Betty Draper. We also get the return of Berger which is painful, but at least it’s offset by how much we love Harry, who finally gets to meet the other girls. Plus, a season finale with no Big???? We really couldn’t have asked for anything better.
In the penultimate episode of season 5, The Big Journey, we get the most seriously disturbing case of anti-train propaganda that has ever been aired on television (sorry, HBO). Carrie and Samantha are traveling by train to San Fransisco, and they are too horny to function. Meanwhile, Charlotte is also horny and struggling with the concept of sleeping with someone she thinks is ugly. Miranda doesn’t exist this week.
It’s time to bust out your Hitachi Magic Wand, because our best boy Harry is finally here! We’ve made it to season 5 episode 6, Critical Condition. This week is all about saying fuck it to the haters and not listening to our bad reviews, even when they might be devastatingly true and you should feel bad about it. And as always, Carrie should feel bad.
Plus One Is the Loneliest Number… according to the title of season 5 episode 5. But really no one is that lonely this week, because Charlotte and Miranda are having their first post-marriage and post-baby fucks, Stanford has his boyfriend, and Carrie has a million people showing up for her book party. We also get to meet the dreaded Berger (not to be confused with previous guest of the podcast Burger) who we just don’t care for. Cynical men get fucked challenge! (But not by Carrie, please.)
We’re back at it again at the Krispy Kreme (which we’re sponsored by) to judge books by their covers and talk about yeti dicks. And also to discuss season 5 episode 4, Cover Girl. While Carrie and Samantha work through some shit, Charlotte is busy being literate and online (dark shoutout to Amazon dot com/ca/co.uk). And worst of all, Miranda is an undeserving hay mowee.
We made it to the funnie sex number!!!!!! And obviously for the occasion we HAD to have friend of the show, guest of the show, the wonderful Sara on. The episode is season 5 episode 3, Luck Be an Old Lady. We’re in Atlantic City babybee!!!! The gals head out for a fun casino romp, except Evil Steve almost stops them with his terrible dadness, and Charlotte’s birthday has her feeling like an old maid. Meanwhile, we discuss things that are more important, like Jim Carrey’s filmography and which wrestlers can compete for Alex’s pussy.
Y’all ever heard of Catholics? Anyway, this week on CGMD we’re discussing season 5 episode 2, Unoriginal Sin. While Charlotte is manifesting, the rest of the gals are cynical and grumpy. Samantha is back with Richard (bluh) and giving him hell for his crimes, and Miranda is dealing with Steve’s Catholic bullshit that she hates. Meanwhile, Carrie??? Is getting a book deal???????? Extremely fake but okay.
Hello season 5! It’s a light one this week with really no significance to the overall plot of the show. We watched season 5 episode 1, Anchors Away, and were mostly just disappointed that the girls support the troops. Also, that they think the objectively ugliest uniform (sailor) is hot. BUT we’re also super proud of Samantha in her best moment of the series, and impressed at Miranda’s nipples. Tits ahoy!
Season 4 is over and Brady Brady is finally here! Plus, Big is gone (for now!)! The episode of the week is season 4 episode 18, I Heart NY, and we heart to see it. But on the two hand, we hate Richard and also preps. And horses! A lot of things are the same as always, but we can also look forward to a season 5 where Big lives in California and Joey Friends is picking up women at ground zero. Let’s have a kiki!