Blair

After a month sailing the far-reaching seas of the Chronicles, we’re returning to the main series and, thank goodness, the main drive of this entire show: rap battle brackets. Palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms melting into the form of wings, oh god, oh god, the noise of it. The crunching and churning. Oh god, oh god. It’s book 24 The Suspicion, and the kids are on a mission. We use our full cognition to determine their positions in the… aforementioned bracket. Listen, if anything rhymed with “Animorphs”, I would have gone there first,In addition to breezing slap-happily over some…

Sit down with me, little bird, & let me tell you a story about how a series about the horrors of war somehow becomes even warrier & more horrific. It’s The Hork-Bajir Chronicles, and it’s just upsetting. Let’s get real sad about it!If you need a pick-me-up, think about the last episode and check out this amazing canon image of a canon event. Remember how fun that was???In addition to being generally kinda bummered about, like, war & stuff, we discussed: Yeerk Sexual Dimorphism, Cry Button Songs, Esplin, Turns Out The Yeerks Suck, Never Be Punctual Or You Might Get…

We janked up the timeline by skipping books and we’re getting picked off of the show one-by-one as we accidentally unborn ourselves in our attempts to go back and fix the error. Uh-oh! With The Andalite Chronicles, we’re hopping all the way back to before the story even began, now with the baggage of loving these children way too much.In addition to loving Andalites so goddamn much, we discuss: Improvised Burlesque Floor Routines, Are There Literally Any Andalite Women?, Ax Would Eat A Cat, Andalite Culture Is: Being Kind Of A Dumbass, Do Andalites Purr?, Andalites Better Purr, There Are…