Derek

Shine up those fancy war talons and dust off your copy of Owl City’s Ocean Eyes! This time around, the guys take a look at Zack Snyder’s epic fantasy adventure film Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole. Also, Derek muses loudly about other owl-centric tie-in this movie could have used, while Juan goes into full Watchmen-apologist mode.This episode’s recommendations:ExcaliburAcross the Universe

Get comfy in your coffin and dust off your copy of Gene Page’s Hot City! This time around, the guys take a look at the 1972 blaxplo-horror classic Blacula. Also, Juan forgets the name of a movie with some jerk-off photographer, and Derek pitches an idea for a new podcast.This episode’s recommendations:Play it Again, SamBad CompanyNOTE: We talk a bit about the homophobia in this film, and as such, an unflattering term for gay people is used herein exactly one time, so beware.

Put your toddler’s boots on the wrong feet and for the love of God, stay out of the tool shed! This time around, the guys take a look at Lars von Trier’s psychological shocker Antichrist. Also, Juan busts out the most pretentious phrase in the podcast’s history, while Derek drops such bon mots as “ontological” and “nuts.”This episode’s recommendations:To Live and Die in L.A.The Science of SleepNOTE: Some pretty nasty stuff happens to the human body in this movie, and we talk about it a bit, so beware if body horror isn’t your thing.

Put the pedal to the metal and watch out for those German heat-seeking missiles! This time around, the guys take a look at the DTV demolition derby Death Race 3: Inferno. Also, Derek tries (and fails) to channel Pitbull, Juan begs the Universe to make better trash, and both hosts take a break from talking about this week’s movie to muse about Mel Brooks.This episode’s recommendations:Resident Evil: RetributionUniversal Soldier: Day of Reckoning

You want us to release episode 12 of the podcast? Well, we’re bound by fairy law to do it, so here you go! This time around, the guys take a look at the 2004 fantasy rom-com Ella Enchanted. Also, Juan’s mastery of disco trivia gets bested by the formidable Floridian heat, and Derek lays out his unified theory of Shreksploitation.This episode’s recommendations:The Princess BrideThe Princess Diaries

Sorry we’re late again, but we’re back at it! Get ready to explore the vast, infinite white void of friendship, because this time around, the guys take a look at Vincenzo Natali’s bizarro comedy whatsit Nothing. Also, Derek and Juan swap stories about the bad old days of MySpace (Derek’s story is kind of lame, but Juan’s is pretty good).This episode’s recommendations:Interstella 5555Cube

Be careful with that banana cream pie, young’uns! This week, the guys take a look at the Uma Thurman/Meryl Streep age-difference rom-com Prime. Also, Juan talks about an awkward experience with a hotel concierge, while Derek sheds a little light on his theories on the emotional hierarchy of handshakes vs. fist bumps.This episode’s recommendations:Wet Hot American SummerThe ProducersNOTE: Due to persisting technical difficulties, the sound is a little rougher than usual in this episode. Things should be smoothed out for next time. Don’t worry, though, the pod is still awesome.

Watch out for those killbots! Beware their… grappling hook tasers? This time, the guys take a look at the gleefully schlocky 80s B-slasher Chopping Mall. Also, Derek introduces his co-host to a TV show he might like, while Juan muses about the uniformity of pretend weaponry.This episode’s recommendations:Night of the CometRe-Animator

Better late than never! Call in the Air Force and don’t forget your Air Jordans, because this time around, the guys watched Roland Emmerich’s 2013 destruct-o-rama White House Down. Also, Derek questions his co-host’s level of sobriety, while Juan busts out his best Muppets impressions.This episode’s recommendations:StargateJupiter Ascending

Corral your livestock and tell your giant pet rat to pipe down! This time, the guys take a look at Louis Malle’s 1975 surrealist post-apocalyptic coming-of-age allegory Black Moon. Also, Juan gets slightly distracted by a clothing sale, and Derek discovers the most ill-advised yet bluntly-accurate way to describe the male gaze.This episode’s recommendations:Elevator to the GallowsFlesh for Frankenstein