Episode Sixty-One: Will The Real Slim Goodbody Please Stand Up

Play

Returning to the studio after a few months with Animorphs book forty-one, The Familiar, where actually… nothing is very familiar. Think of who you were at age fifteen and come on this journey with us.

In addition to being generally befuddled, we discuss: Death Note Yaoi, Star Wars Didn’t Exist Until Three Years Ago, High Quality Pictures Of Slim Goodbody, I Assume Somewhere Blair Is Screaming, Always Needing Interrogation Maybe or Monday is Monday funnier, and Advent Calendar Of Trauma

Referenced media: High quality picture of Slim Goodbody

Episode Sixty: The Vriska Of Animorphs

Play

Welcome to our wonderful life diving into the classic “what if something had never happened” trope with the fourth & final Megamorphs! Join us as we watch Cassie become unstuck in time, hear Marco and Rachel grow closer together, and see the life of all of our favourite characters extinguished one by one. It’s Animorphs, baby!

In addition to whatever it was we talked abt when we recorded this more than two months ago, sorry, my bad, we discuss: The Third Host Emily Swashbuckle, Mostly Clothed On The Internet & Drinkin’ Coffee, Blair’s Beef, and Little Shitty Arms

Referenced media: Sharks are smooth as hell, Satah + Garold recording selfie

EPISODE 151: Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2

Play

SCHLOCKTOBER IS HERE AT LAST!!!!! And we’re kicking it off with Satah of the show, uh, Satah (@nuditea), as they bring us along to really confront our inner demons with Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2, a sequel as ill conceived as its title construction is. Join us as we really take to task how much this supposed sequel seems to really, really, deeply hate its source material.

RECOMMENDATIONS:
A lil Amiibo to bring you joy
Tempeh! You know, like the food!
PLAGUE MECHANIC – GARBAGEFACE
Peachykine – Peachykine

Theme music thanks to Satah, you can find more of their work under people you meet outside of bars
Editing done by Blair Kitsch, if you say his name three times into the bathroom mirror with the lights off, a vision of him eating hummus right out of the thing with his hands will appear to you.

Episode Fifty-Nine: I Don’t Give A Shit; Extradite Me

Play

Andalites? Disguised as human? On my Earth? It’s more likely than you think. This week, we meet some other refugees from the Andalite army, and learn a very important if kinda hamfisted lesson about ableism from Animorphs book 40: The Other!

CW: Ableism (We rarely attach content warnings to this show, but the wildly dehumanising way this book tackles ableism warrants one)

In addition to this very special after-school episode, we discuss: The Deep Wonder Yeerks Lore, We All Have Shipping Disease, Summer Wars AU, Marco Would Do OK Online, Dirtbag Leftist Marco, Love Magic, and Matt Gamecube Will Never Die

Referenced media: Josie & The Pussycats Is The Greatest Film Ever Made

Episode Fifty-Eight: President Trash Boy

Play

It’s time for a Cassie book, which means it’s time to settle down, open ourselves up to our more pacifist tendencies, and marvel at the Cronenberg-esque abomination that is an ant poorly attempting to morph into a human being. And also there’s a cape buffalo. He turns into a human too. It’s Animorphs book 39, The Hidden, and I’m sure Cassie’s fine!

In addition to the general malaise that is these authors are trying to destroy this sweet little girl, we discuss: The Highs, The Lows, The Side-To-Sides, The Trash, The Boy, The Shorp Porps, and There Are So Many Ants

Episode Fifty-Seven: It’s Like Sex Ed But Forever And War

Play

Crumph crumph: the sound of a book written in the 90s trying to deal with gender. It’s Animorphs book 38, The Arrival, which means it’s time to discuss our various mouth pleasures. Mine is just saying “crumph crumph”!

Referenced media: Millennials Aren’t Growing Horns From Their Celled Phones, that statue of Oscar Wilde

Episode Fifty-Six: Some Houses Go, But Again, Not Particularly Fast

Play

No controllers on this podcast! Only human beings who love the human character Rachel. She is strong, she is real, and she is our friend. It’s Animorphs book 37, The Weakness, and we’re considerably more excited about Visser 3’s fantastically strong ex-boyfriend energy than any of the actual plot. Rachel’s the boss now and we’re the Supernatural of podcasts, I guess.

In addition to other people named Rachel, we discuss: Hubris: The Book, Essay Filler, I Have To Live With Me ALL THE TIME, Houses Are The Slowest Thing That We make, Golf Ball Murder, Red Lights Georg, Oh! My Hubris, and Negged By Amazon

Episode Fifty-Four: Because Of Her Tendency To Commit Treason Immediately

Play

In the longest episode yet, we somehow stay completely on-topic. In our defense, there’s a lot going on. It’s a seasonally appropriate Animorphs special today as we discuss the book Visser. No, not the monologuing himbo; the other one. Oh shit.

In addition to… huh. No, seriously, this is just us talking about purely the book for almost an hour and a half.

Referenced media: You made this? I made this.

Episode Fifty-Three: Some People Irony Poison To Cope

Play

Cancel culture is when six teenagers with alien technology come together to try to get you to freak out over some cockroaches in your salad. Sometimes, the natural state of two lifebeings interacting is fear. These are just quotes from Blair I really loved that were too long to make the episode title. I’m writing this at a bar because as I ordered a beer, I realised I hadn’t finished editing the episode, so I did it in the corner. Like a cool kid! The things I do for you. Anyway, book, I guess. I’m over it! Animorphs book 35: The Proposal. It’s a palindrome of the episode number! Fuuuun!!!!!!!

In addition to Marco’s mental state, we discuss: Dopamine Machine Please, Poodles Have Genetic Bows, Caring About The Earth Was Starting To Become A Fad (But Not Enough Of A Fad), I Wanna Watch TV With That Dad, It’s Comforting To Know Humanity Has Always Been Broken, and The Cool Adult Who’s In On Things

Referenced media: David Tennant with a ponytail, and again, Michael Grant’s andalite drawing from the series bible, white taxidermy monkey meme

Episode Fifty-Two: Motherfuckers Going To The Moon In A Paper Airplane

Play
We read Animorphs book 34, The Prophecy. That’s all I’m writing about the episode this week, cuz I’m tired. Take that, George Lucas!
In addition to loving body sharing tropes, we espouse opinions on: Doggie Video Is Here To Stay, I Have To Fight My Adult Son, Ships Look Like Species, and What If Your Hometown Lake Was Polluted With Fascist Space Colonisers