Prime Cuts

Unicron explodes and there are still 14 episodes after that. Transformers Energon truly is the show that never ends, and this week it proves that it still has some terrible, nasty surprises for us. Ugly recolors, FOUR NEW CHARACTERS introduced with only a dozen episodes to go, Optimus Prime taking L after L, strange and garbled dialogue in both versions, Decepticon fart gas, and a Temu version of the final battle from Gurren Lagaan. Anyway, here's like a minute and a half of Optimus groaning and screaming, enjoy! Noise Space | Discord

For once we have a trio of episodes that are packed full of Things Happening, a rarity for Transformers Energon. Alpha Q fucking dies, Megatron gets head, Optimus sets himself on fire for no reason, Omega Supreme becomes Optimus' skinsuit, Shockblast becomes large, Shockblast dies badly, Optimus punches Ironhide in the face, everybody gets new colors, and Optimus becomes REALLY huge. Of course, just because things happened doesn't mean they weren't boring and stupid, but you can't win em all. Noise Space | Discord

Regardless of what version of the show one is watching, some pretty dramatic stuff happened last time. Which is why its incredible bizarre that the first of our two episodes today is mostly about a goofy race on a highway planet? We spend most of our time on that episode because frankly the other one we watched was duller than dirt. At least the race one has weird gags, car crashes, and Optimus acting like a complete fucking freak. Noise Space | Discord

This week we wrap up yet another underwhelming and undercooked character arc, this time about Inferno's struggles with Decepticonification. The cast continues to balloon beyond their capacity to make any of the characters interesting or distinct, and that's when the dub can actually keep their names straight, but we sure to have a kooky old coot with hips that don't quit. The only morsel we have to hold on to during these dark times is the Scorponok and Alpha Q old man yaoi. Also, Audrey unleashes a powerful psychic attack on Nero by bringing up the ancient texts. Noise Space…

This week a rift in space opened up and gave us a glimpse of another world; one where Transformers Energon had good, normal animation instead of the stiff and stunted style we have grown tragically used to. Why is it that the only time they break out the traditional animation is when a character is in extreme agony? Is it because that's how we feel given a glimpse of a better world? Why are we still getting flashbacks to fucking Padlock so long after his death? Why was there a fucking clip show that summarized the events of the episode…