Sam

Things in Dark Road are starting to start to get interesting, as we (now halfway through the game) get some characterization for Xehanort's friends and a whole lot of screen time for the Magic Mirror from Snow White. We also meet a few of the upperclassmen, one of whom is a total freak. Don't forget our Z-plot: will Urd marry the Beast from Beauty and the Beast?! No, obviously not! Sam | Drew | Bluesky

We're back in the chibi mines with Kingdom Hearts Union χ Dark Road, a mobile gacha game about what Xehanort and Eraqus were getting up to as teenagers when they weren't playing chess! We've got a new cast of characters with Norse mythology names, all of which will be pronounced incorrectly by us. Hermod, Bragi, Vor, Urd, and Baldr are their names. I'm spelling them out here mainly so nobody tries to have a laugh about "vore". None of these losers are especially well-defined at this point, but one thing is for sure: they do run around in Wonderland! Sam…

We pushed through the Re Mind Re Hash last week, and it's all new stuff from here! Sora is exploring Scala ad Caelum and doing some evil activities Xehanort set up for him. That's nice, I think! After that, we've got some genuinely cool stuff with the Guardians of Light and especially our beloved Epic Mickey. Lastly, we're talking about the Limitcut Episode, in which Data-Sora (not that one) fights 14 extra-hard bosses, culminating in one of the weirdest twists in the series so far! Sam | Drew | Bluesky

Remember the act 3 boss rush from Kingdom Hearts 3 that a lot of people hate for the breakneck pace at which it wraps up a dozen or so character arcs? Well, here it is again, but this time with a small handful of short new cutscenes that add almost nothing and one big weird new cutscene that also adds almost nothing but is kind of cool. If we imagine Re Mind as a trilogy, which it isn't, this is arguably its sophomore slump, which it isn't. There's a lot of "hey remember this scene? Well, moving on," this week,…

The true Kingdom Hearts 3 begins here? We're beginning our discussion of the KH3 DLC, Re Mind, with an assortment of cutscenes that we've already seen, flashbacks to conversations about things we already knew, and teenage Xehanort getting hilariously dunked on over and over. It's not bad, but it's definitely weird. After that, we Dive to the Wiki for some extremely questionable Cartoon Network character parallels! Sam | Drew | Bluesky

It wouldn't be a Kingdom Hearts game without a totally bonkers ending, and KHUX has got that thoroughly covered! Twice the data! Twice the Brains! More flashbacks! Baby Xehanort, from the Baby Xehanort spinoff! Many characters crying, and perhaps a host as well...? And just imagine how much more emotional it would be if it didn't look like that! Sam | Drew | Bluesky

Three hundred games into Kingdom Hearts, we're finally going to learn what darkness is! In this week's extremely eventful installment of KHUX, we've got some lengthy Master of Masters lore dumps... some twists... maybe some turns? "That all sounds great," you say, "but will there be gratuitous logistical discussions about who gets in which pod?" You better believe it!! Sam | Drew | Bluesky

Things are really starting to pop off in this weird game for phones! A boss from Chain of Memories just had an offscreen boss fight against a boss from Kingdom Hearts 1, and the winner has claimed a victory pod to travel through data to get into the real victory pod and travel through time. That's not even the main thing that happens this week. We're mostly dealing with some Capital-D Darkness and getting deep into the mechanics of when a bunch of guys become a cloud and the cloud has to become a bunch of guys. What would the…