Sam

Get ready for some psychology! It’s S05E22, “When Bad Things Happen to Bad People”, and we would love to know who those bad people are. Amy? Is it Amy? It’s probably Amy. Anyway, George and Ricky and Ben and Ethan are all loving life this week. Always great to see! This week, Ben does something. You’ll like it, trust me!Sam | JordanTwitter | Tumblr | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

Well, that was depressing! We’re returning from Victoria’s funeral to talk about S05E21, “All My Sisters With Me”! It’s pretty bad, but at least there are only three more. Wait, three? That’s the number of characters in this episode who have the exact same storyline! Wow! Do you think this means anything? This week, Brenda is officially under arrest. Keith too.Sam | JordanTwitter | Tumblr | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

Get your grandmas and a bucket of popcorn, it’s time for Secret Life! We’re talking about S05E20, “First and Last”! George is fully the main character now, and that’s great. Unfortunately, he can’t have all the screen time – gotta make room for our friend Ethan! He’s being opprobrious this week, but he did teach me how to spell opprobrious. This week, we’re throwing some money into the marriage tontine. It’s gonna be big!Sam | JordanTwitter | Tumblr | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

Jordan found an old story he wrote when he was 10. We read it for your enjoyment. So, enjoy!

Hot dogs, get yer hot dogs here! The SLOATboys are here live at Hot Dog Hut to talk about S01E19, “Money For Nothing, Chicks For Free”! Against all odds, Anne has somehow gotten jobs for herself and- wait. Hold on. This is actually S05E18, “Money for Nothin'”! Sorry about that. There are only so many titles, I guess. Anyway, this is an episode. Divorce Attorney is back with a vengeance(?) and so is Ben(?) It’s really impossible to know at this point. This week, we’re skipping leg-to-stand-on day. All we need is one jacked arm.Sam | JordanTwitter | Tumblr |…

Good news! Brenda’s still gone, and the Turks are here to pick up the slack, I guess, with S05E17, “Fraid So”! You gotta hand it to them, this episode did give us things to talk about, which is more than we can say for the last few. Do they know how printers work? Why are we watching George make a meat deal? How much IS the skeleton tax? Join us as we find the answers to none of these questions and more! This week, I’m taking my extremely violent bird to the mall. It’s a good analogy, I swear!Sam |…

Teens, we’re really in the home stretch now! It’s S05E16, “Shiny and New”, and we’re sick of it! We’ve had it! This show is so boring and we have to watch eight more episodes of it! It sucks! That’s it! This week, Brenda didn’t write the episode, but that doesn’t make it any more palatable. Thanks for nothing, Brenda!Sam | JordanTwitter | Tumblr | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

Happy new year! We’re back in a brand new decade, but the show is the same as ever. We’re talking about S05E15, “Untying the Knot,” a very boring episode that neither of us wanted to watch. Everyone is on the phone, talking about marriage certificates and custody battles, until they get mad and hang up without saying goodbye. Let’s see, what else? Uhhhhh… I guess that’s it? Exciting stuff! This week, we’re begging for a new therapist. Come back, Mrs. Gully!Sam | JordanTwitter | Tumblr | Patreon | Discord | YouTube