The Island Shuffle

don’t you dare think about!! tellin mister locke!!! what he is gonna be gettin’ up to!!!! that’s what you’ll learn if you watch Season 1, Episode 4… you KNOW it’s Walkabout! a stone cold classic!! John Locke is here to hunt a boar and meet a monster, and the gang is still recovering from a plane crash. meanwhile, in the past, John has one heck of a terrible boss!! we talk a lot about John Locke’s nuts in this one, and we’ll never apologize.

this week, it’s Season 5 Episode 8, titled LaFleur, and we learn how Sawyer (the Protagonist) conned his buddies into a little place called The Dharma Initiative in the Seventies. Locke spins the gear of time, Juliet is a cool-looking mechanic, and Horace has himself a night. and of course, without critical character Paul, it just wouldn’t be the same. meanwhile we realize just how 420 friendly JJ’s career is. thanks for listening

this week its Season 1 Episode 20, called Do No Harm, and it’s all about Jack trying to save Boone’s life!! but as you and i know… he fails. but dammit if he doesn’t literally give up gallons of his own blood to give it his all, in this good episode. also Claire has a whole entire baby!! in the flashbacks, Jack gets married, and in our dumb conversations, we prove that language is meaningless. it’s a fun one, this one, this ep of the podcast.

season 5 episode 4… The Little Prince!! that’s right baby, it’s time travel time. folks are bleedin out their noses, and Sawyer sees a baby get born. meanwhile, off the island, someone’s trying to take Aaron from Kate!! who could it be?? who could know the TRUTH about the BABY?????? well it’s Ben for no reason, so don’t worry. Bean and James ruin whatever party you’re attending and talk some shit about political cartoons from the 1890s. hey, thanks for listening!

this week it’s Season 1 Episode 21, the Greater Good. the gang mourns beloved Boone, and everyone is pissed at Locke about it, especially our current protagonist, Sayid!! we also learn about the time the CIA convinced Sayid into convincing his old college roommate to commit a truly horrible crime. and y’know what?? it turns out to be maybe the best episode of the show we’ve watched yet. in honor of this episode’s quality, we take some time to really boil down and explain the finale of lost, once and for all. thanks

this week it’s Season 4 Episode 11, Cabin Fever. it’s all about Locke, Ben and Hurley’s adventures trying to find a cabin, to get away from it all, y’know? also a Military Coup happens on a freighter. in the distant past, we see Locke’s as an infant, as a toddler failing a Ricky test, and as a lean mean teen. and hey, just keep your eyes on Broadway, folks, cause you might just see….. a familiar face 😉

episode 40!! we’ve officially watched a full THIRD of the Show About the Island, and it’s hard to believe how fake time is. this week it’s Season 2, Episode 22, titled Three Minutes. it’s all about Michael and how much he has a son and how nobody else has a son. Charlie found a vaccine also, and Eko loves a computer. meanwhile we talk about the lottery, and how the sun revolves around the earth. we wanna say thanks for listening, and here’s to 40 more episodes of the only show ever, and then 40 more after that, and then…

this week it’s Season 1 Episode 15, Homecoming. and it’s all about Charlie. and if you thought we’d get a good episode in Season 1, well… yer off yer head, mate!!! anyways, we learn about Charlie and a time he scammed a woman for drug money and then felt bad about it. on the island, the gang has a decisive confrontation with a fellow named Ethan, and Claire deals with amnesia. and you know who’s unhelpful? that’s right, it’s Charlie. how many bones are in the human hand? listen to this episode and find out

this week it’s Season 6 Episode 14… called The Candidate. the gang tries to escape the island on a submarine, but smoke monster manifesting as Locke has other plans. meanwhile, in an alternate realm, Jack wants to do deeply invasive surgery on Locke. this is all the ingredients for a fun and good episode of Lost, and yet…!!! it’s bad, folks!!!!! but at least Frank The Pilot Lapidus gets to hoot about planes. thanks for listening to this podcast about the most baffling show on planet earth.

this week it’s Season 2 Episode 2, Adrift. Michael and Sawyer are stuck on a raft and…. well, that’s about it! we learn about how Michael was a very bad dad and…. folks?? it’s bigtime boring!! a real snooze-fest! also locke explores the hatch for the first time and meets desmond. so that’s somethin. meanwhile, Bean realizes they’re direct and to the point, and James discusses Canada’s Dad. thanks… for listenin’.