The Island Shuffle

well it’s gonna have to be Season 3 Episode 13, The Man from Tallahassee this week. Locke thinks about his regular relationship with his regular dad, and then he holds a man hostage and eats his leftovers before blowing up his friend’s only escape. so, a normal one for our protagonist!! we also learn the true cure for depression, give the Edmonton Oilers a piece of our mind, and take a deep dive into U2’s recording process.

this week, laughter is a team sport, as we talk about Season 6, Episode 11 of Lost, called Happily Ever After!! desmond’s back on the island he hates, brought by his enemy father-in-law. to win desmond’s trust, widmore fries his brain. then desmond bears witness to a world where he has everything he could ever want… but in a cruel twist of fate, he does not recognize his loving beautiful WIFE!!! “is it worth it?” asks multiple characters on the show, and also us. we also pitch a great game show idea. its super practical and compelling to watch, just…

it’s a Season 4, Episode 9 kind of week, where we talk about The Shape of Things to Come. in the present, it’s Ben’s time to have a really intense showdown with a terrible man. then after a bad decision, he flusesh a toilet. in the future, he becomes a paparazzi before his arch nemesis roasts his eyes. meanwhile we figure out a terrible truth about feet and figure out how to really spice up a classic trilogy. remember, its a show about a plane!

feels a little silly to write a description, everything you need’s right there in the title! well i guess we’ll provide the episode title, Lockdown, and tell you it’s Season 2 Episode 17. we’ll also tell you about Locke’s past, where he almost marries Katey Segal, but then his pesky ol dad fakes his death and gets up to no good. in the present, Locke gets Married! and Ben masquerades as a regular man from Walnut Ridge Road. we also provide some social commentary and revisit what it really means to say a funny Borat. it’s all a blur this…

content warning: the flashbacks in this episode deal with domestic abuse, sexual assault, and incest. we keep discussion of this confined from roughly 3:55 to 16:05 if you’d rather skip it.bad episode this week, folks! it’s Season 1 Episode 13, Hearts and Minds. it’s a Boone episode, the only one! in the present, locke torments boone for incredibly normal reasons. and in the past, well? if you read that content warning and said “Lost can probably handle these subjects tactfully,” i’ve got bad news for you, bub. it’s a quick contender one of the all time worst episodes, but at…

welcome to the Sum 41 shuffle, where we recount facts about exactly one band called Sum 41. by sheer coincidence we also watched Season 5, Episode 15, Follow The Leader. in the past, Jack wonders about blowing up a hydrogen bomb and thinks its a really good idea. some of his friends disagree!! and in the present, Locke runs a few errands with his friends Ricky and Ben. Sun exists also. we also finally decide to run for office, and Richard Gere joins the battle. good luck to all involved.

we shuffle the island this week on Season 2, Episode 10, the 23rd Psalm. Mr Eko has a sordid past where he made a choice and became a drug lord, and his brother became a priest. y’all ever heard of… good and evil?? meanwhile in the present, he meets Ol Smokey and Charlie remains a pissant. we also catch up with what some of the stars are up to on social media!! remember to log on to twitter dot com

we recommend watching a youtube video with zero views instead of watching Season 6 Episode 10, The Package. this week, Sun and Jin find true and passionate love in an alternate reality where the mob is constantly hunting them down. then in real life, nothing really happens at all!! Sun forgets a language?? uhhh Widmore… says a word. truly some bad tv here today, even by season 6 standards. what’s the worst pet? listen and find out.

it’s Season 6 Episode 5, aka Lighthouse. we got those in the Maritimes, and Jacob has one too. it’s a good place to visit exactly once. Jack thinks about what if he had a son and the son didn’t like him very much. Jin has a busted leg and lies to a friend. Hurley and Jacob are best buds. in the tumultuous waters of this incredibly bad season of television, we can only hope that Ciggy’s Cove guides us safely home.