Zero to Zero

We don't have to watch Blade: Trinity anymore! We may never know what really happened behind the scenes that led to this movie being such a disaster, but one thing we know for sure is that it made us sad. We'll always have "suckheads". Join us next week to find out if the third act of Fant4stic is any better than the third act of Blade: Trinity, a question nobody has ever asked before! Sam | Val | Gigalithic Twitter | Cohost

Part 1 of Fant4stic was kind of surprisingly okay, so they decided to take a hard left from generic action-adventure into tragedy and body horror! How will we ever get back to funny prank montages now? More importantly, how will Doctor Doom be the villain? I wish I knew, but unfortunately I'm no expert at pattern recognition! Sam | Val | Gigalithic Twitter | Cohost

We're in the second act of Blade: Trinity, and we've learned some things about this movie! Did you know? Dracula wasn't supposed to be in it! Good luck to us trying to make sense of the plot with that in mind. Meanwhile, Wesley Snipes was supposed to be in it, and allegedly he is! Sometimes! Against all odds, we wish we were watching Fant4stic. Sam | Val | Gigalithic Twitter | Cohost

What's up, wig watchers? It's time for a movie that's been hanging over this podcast for a long time: 2015's Fantastic Four, AKA Fant4stic! It's a more interesting movie than any of us expected, although that does not mean it's good! Victor Von Doom has his highest ever APM (accents per minute) but will it be enough to defeat the Fantastic Four? We'll find out eventually, when they exist! Sam | Val | Gigalithic Twitter | Cohost

Well, we knew it was coming! This week, we're starting Blade: Trinity and the rumors were true. Folks, it's not as good! Wesley Snipes clearly doesn't want to be here, and Sam clearly doesn't want Ryan Reynolds to be here. We've got an ill-defined group of villains digging up an ill-defined bigger villain, so thank goodness for Wikipedia to help us out there. Eh, it's fine. As long as nothing happens to Whistler, the movie can't be that bad! Sam | Val | Gigalithic Twitter | Cohost

We were warned about the ending of Rise of the Silver Surfer, but nothing could have prepared us for just how terrible it is! Why are the Fantastic Four such a terrible team? Good thing Galactus wasn't in this movie, because they'd have had a real hard time dealing with him! Hey, where'd Doctor Doom go? The ocean? Well, bye, I guess! Sam | Val | Gigalithic Twitter | Cohost

Movies are back! We finished Blade II, and it was basically good again! After a somewhat boring second act that was mostly guns and swords, we finally get what we come to Blade for: intrigue, character arcs (alive to exploded), badāsse one-liners, and guns and swords. Let's dive into the blood pool together and be rejuvenated. Bring some tissues and razor blades just in case! Sam | Val | Gigalithic Twitter | Cohost

We're back for more Rise of the Silver Surfer, and the misogyny is getting worse and worse! Did they literally forget that Sue is a scientist? Can she contribute anything to the story besides being Reed's hot girlfriend? Well, maybe after the Wedding of the Century, she'll finally become Reed's hot wife. That's right, it didn't even happen and it's still the only thing the news wants to talk about! Also, the world is ending! Whatever! Sam | Val | Gigalithic Twitter | Cohost

We're back in Blade II this week, and it's an action-heavy second act! Almost everything that happens in this viewing is one of two long action sequences, and we're not entirely thrilled with it. It's still a better woman than Catmovie, as they say, but it's not as good as Blade, as they also say. On the bright side, we're intrigued about the intrigue, so hopefully the third act will be good! Sam | Val | Gigalithic Twitter | Cohost