Sam

Hey! So, this episode is kind of a mess. We lost a big chunk of it and had to come back the next day to finish the rest which meant having about 20 minutes of conversation that we’d already had. That’s our excuse for that part. The rest of it is just the ordinary low quality you expect from us here at Juergen’ It. Anyway! We’re here twice to talk twice about S01E15, “That’s Enough of That”, and it’s… good? It’s good. What? It’s good? Excuse me? Why is it good? Don’t worry, it’s still pretty bad. But at the…

Hoo boy. This is an episode. In some ways, one of the better ones. In some ways, one of the worst. Well, you’ll see. This week we’re talking about S01E14, “The Father and the Son”, and if you couldn’t guess from that title, Ricky’s dad is here. Yikes. Other than that mess, we’ve also got Jack becoming more and more of a brain genious, and Molina becoming less and less of a character. I think he’s somehow less of a character now than he was when he was missing from the show. This week, we’re here with the opportunity of…

We’re back! Two weeks in a row we said we wouldn’t have an episode but we just can’t stay away from the fetid swamplands of Somewhere, California, where we watched the bizarrely titled S01E13, “Baked Nevada”. Hey, remember everything that happened last episode? Well, you can probably forget about all of it, because none of it mattered. Good news: Molina is back! Anything else good here? No? Well, okay. This week, Jack reveals his true allegiance. Don’t trust the cops!Sam – https://positive-stress.tumblr.com/ Jordan – https://twitter.com/BradypusRexPatreon – https://www.patreon.com/juergenit

Hoo boy. Really thought it wouldn’t come to this. We’re here this week talking about S01E12, “The Secret Wedding of the American Teenager”. The one time you really want the title to have nothing to do with the plot of the episode, and it’s completely accurate. This episode was so bad, Jordan’s throat exploded and he sounds awful. Sorry about that! It was either record it like this or never do another episode. This week, we’re overdosing on red pills. Don’t forget your fake ID if you want a cocktail at the reception!Sam – https://positive-stress.tumblr.com/ Jordan – https://twitter.com/BradypusRexPatreon – https://www.patreon.com/juergenit

I guess that large adult bully really did some serious damage to Ben’s brain, because he’s… arguably the best character for this episode? What? Okay. This week we’re talking about S01E11, “Just Say No”! It’s… fine! I guess! Besides everything with Adrian’s dad and everything with Ricky and everything with Alice and everything with Jack, it’s fine. Gricky becomes canon, Adrian’s dad becomes Ruben, and Lauren just keeps getting worse. This week, Ricky learns how to do a cartwheel. Hold on to your promise rings!Sam – https://positive-stress.tumblr.com/ Jordan – https://twitter.com/BradypusRexAlso we’re on Patreon now!!!! https://www.patreon.com/juergenit

Our longest episode yet! It’s S01E09, “Slice of Life”, and it’s pizza time in Secret Life City, baybee! Lots of stuff happens in this one, actually. It’s the least worst episode we’ve had in a while! What a treat! This episode is like the pineapple on the Secret Life pizza. The pizza would arguably be better without it, but at least it’s something that goes on a pizza sometimes. The rest of the pizza toppings are like… orange slices and peppermints. George starts spinning yet another web of lies BECAUSE WHY NOT, Adrian is sad, Lauren’s character gets assassinated, and…

You know, last week’s episode made me think that maybe Secret Life had figured out how to come up with episode titles that are relevant to the episode itself. Guess not! This week we’re talking about S01E08, “Your Cheatin’ Heart”! Sure, why not? This was an action-packed episode, believe it or not! Lots of stuff happens. Adrian gets to work on having a storyline that doesn’t involve sex or desks, George invents a new form of advertisement, Ben embarks on a vision quest… and Ashley is here too! This week, we thoroughly fail the Bechdel test. Please don’t call security…

I hope you all like truancy, because this week we’re talking about S01E07, “Absent”! If this were an episode of Friends, it would be called “The One Where Nobody Goes to School”. Single Delicious Counchelor Marc Molina would be losing his mind, if he existed for this episode. Hey, we finally made it, everyone! It’s seven episodes in and the character arcs are starting! Ricky is beginning his journey toward being the only likable character on the show and Adrian finally meets her first friend! Also, she hangs out with Grace for a minute. This week, Leo kills Sam. Well,…

Fill your pitchers with water, open the lid on the coffee maker, pour the water in, close the lid, reopen the lid, add your filter, close the lid again, walk to the fridge, grab your coffee, open the bag, grab a scoop, measure out some coffee grounds, open the lid again, put the coffee in, reseal the bag, close the lid, and press “brew”, folks… then throw the coffee down the drain because you won’t need it! This week we’re talking about S01E06 – “Love for Sale”! Who needs Wikihow to learn how to make coffee when you have this…